Joke Thread.. post 'em if you got 'em

Then Yoda got older and was not concerned with someones feelings...

 

The Clinton's at Yankee Stadium

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them.

One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers something to Bill. At first, Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head “no.”

The agent then says. “Mr. President, it was a unanimous request of the entire team, from the owner of the team to the bat boy.”

Bill hesitates but begins to change his mind when the agent tells him the fans would love it.

Bill shrugs his shoulders and says, “Ho-Kay. If that is what the people want. C’mere Hilly baby.”

With that, Bill gets up, grabs Hillary by her collar and the seat of her pants, lifts her up, and tosses her right over the wall onto the field. She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming. “Bill you f#@k.”

The crowd goes absolutely wild. Fans are jumping up and down, cheering, hooting and hollering, and high-fiving.

Bill is bowing, smiling and waving to the crowd.

He leans over to the agent and says, “How about that, I would have never believed how much everyone would enjoy that!”

Noticing the agent has gone totally pale, he asks what is wrong.

The agent replies. “Sir, I said they want you to throw out the first pitch.”

 

The Clinton's at Yankee Stadium

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them.

One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers something to Bill. At first, Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head “no.”

The agent then says. “Mr. President, it was a unanimous request of the entire team, from the owner of the team to the bat boy.”

Bill hesitates but begins to change his mind when the agent tells him the fans would love it.

Bill shrugs his shoulders and says, “Ho-Kay. If that is what the people want. C’mere Hilly baby.”

With that, Bill gets up, grabs Hillary by her collar and the seat of her pants, lifts her up, and tosses her right over the wall onto the field. She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming. “Bill you f#@k.”

The crowd goes absolutely wild. Fans are jumping up and down, cheering, hooting and hollering, and high-fiving.

Bill is bowing, smiling and waving to the crowd.

He leans over to the agent and says, “How about that, I would have never believed how much everyone would enjoy that!”

Noticing the agent has gone totally pale, he asks what is wrong.

The agent replies. “Sir, I said they want you to throw out the first pitch.”

 

Germans.... see the GFC post 4 posts above yours. Still a good one tho

 

Lol…. Never saw his

 

I wonder what her future boss will think?
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Teen girl who 'identifies as cat' allowed to 'act like a feline' in school

The student allegedly has permission to act like a feline and be non-verbal in class, so long as her behaviour does not distract other youngsters at the private school.

A school is reportedly supporting a "phenomenally bright" teen girl who identifies as a cat. The student allegedly has permission to act like a feline and be non-verbal in class, so long as her behaviour does not distract other youngsters at the private school in Melbourne, Australia.

While the school did not confirm the report, it said in a statement that pupils were displaying "a range of issues, from mental health, anxiety or identity issues". According to the Mirror, it added: "Our approach is always unique to the student and we will take into account professional advice and the wellbeing of the student."

It is one of a number of cases recently reported in Australia. In Brisbane, a group of four female students are said to have taken to walking on all fours and cutting holes in their uniforms to make room for tails.

It is believed they were identifying as either foxes or cats. Claims, denied by the school, included one from a parent who told the Courier Mail a girl had screamed at another student for "sitting on her tail". It is not confirmed if the girls involved believe themselves to be part of the 'furry' subculture, in which people identify with animal traits.

Our Safer Schools explained: "The internet is a constantly changing global forum that is filled with many different types of communities. These communities often allow people to express themselves in a way that frees them from what they consider to be societal “norms.”
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Yup, I'm sure her bosses will be impressed.

 

I’m hearing that there are litter boxes in the bathrooms of local public schools right here in my area.