Cost of gas vs cost of Friendship?

[comsnark]

Heh.

So I guess I am REALLY evil because there are times that the destination of a trip is the fuel dock.

I got lots of milage early on when I made a point of making a 50 minute trip to the fuel dock (which was located less than a 1/4 mile from the house).

 

[Hampton]

I would have handled the original poster's "Presentation" differently. When the friend asked about helping out, I would have mentioned that we had talked about the $300.00 figure and everything was worked out already with him. Then I would have come to a quick "oh, I remember"... when he started arguing that the figure was $200.00, not $300.00 : )

I really like that idea. Thinking fast on the fly.

 

[Carver370]

I have been in similar situations before.

Here is a funny story about one. I have a friend with a 17' Regal, holds about 30 gallons of gas. I cannot count how many times this guy has been on my boat for trips to Chicago, Saugatuck, South Haven, weekly trips to Michigan City (For you Lake Michigan Boaters) and I have never once asked for a single cent, just said bring what you want to eat or drink and we're fine.

I digress, anyway this summer he was planning on taking his small boat to see some fireworks about 12 miles away and invited me to come. As I was stepping on the boat he says to me "hey do you have some money for gas?" I about flipped a lid and I have been friends with this guy since freshman year of high school. I spit out my usual "are you serious comments" and his girlfriend goes off on me saying I should know how it is to pay for fuel. I politely said forget it and I told him I would see him there on my boat, we can raft off.

2 hours later I show up on my boat guzzling down the fuel with my Crusaders while he was already there. I had more fun on my boat anyway with more people that I didn't charge for fuel either. (He was alone)

Could I have given him 20 or 30 bucks to fill up his bowrider, yes but out of principal I decided to take my own and avoid getting into that situation. After 6 or 7 years of taking him on my boat and spending a grossly unknown amount of money in fuel this guy has the nerve to hit me up for 20 or 30 bucks. I also have heard that he only asks his boating friends for money for fuel because "they should understand".

What it comes down to for me is that people who call each other friends should reciprocate appropriately. Not so much to say it is expected but there should be an unsaid understanding where the line is and when to cross it or not.

Same goes for maintenance on the boats or cars, if you expect me to help you wax your boat, you better be first in line helping me do mine. I'll probably do a better job alone anyway.

 

[Turtlesboat]

You help friends wax their boats? will you be my friend?

 

[Carver370]

Sure, I would gladly help out on a 280, come help me on my 370 Carver and we will call it even!

 

[water rat]

Invite him out on your boat one more time. Make sure to fill up at the gas dock and get him to pay you back your Franklin. Then don't invite him back...

 

[wkearney99]

Time to find a new friend ....

Got that right.

Back in the 80's a friend was newly divorced, cash poor but had a new Fountain powerboat. It was a fun boat and I figured since it was my idea to take a trip I ought to put the gas in it. We did this a couple of times. I had the money, he had the boat, it seemed like reasonable trade. Then the idiot had the nerve to wise-ass off in front of some other folks about it. You could've heard a sonic boom from how quick my wallet snapped shut from that point forward. Seems the season got cut pretty short after that. Things went downhill the following winter and the deadbeat got it repo'd.

So not everyone's tight with chipping in for fuel.

When we have guests on board we've never asked, nor expected, anything for fuel. Folks ask what they'd like us to bring. Usually that's just lunch, munchies or booze. If the trip includes stopping somewhere for lunch they usually pick up the check. And that's fine by us.

But then again, we're not in our 20's anymore and can afford stuff like this. I understand where some folks aren't as fortunate and it's stretch. But even when I was younger it wasn't worth being an ass about money. When it was that much of an issue to people, I took it as a sign that those weren't the sort of people worth being around. Turns out I was right, every time. So if you've got people getting themselves all wound up over it, take it as a sign to spend less time with them.

 

[charlieft]

I think the key point is that you didn't ask him to chip in ...

I don't know how old your friend is, but I've noticed that younger people (20s - 30s - ?) don't seem to have the same sense of "one hand washes the other" fair play that I always took for granted. In general ... you do them a favor or show them a courtesy and they feel in no way obligated to return the same. (just an observation ... am I wrong?) Nothing against them ... it's a sign of the times.

They have different principles than you.

That being said ... I have been in a similar situation and I felt the same way that you do.

-Charlie

How would you have handled this situation? What would you do now and going forward? :huh:

We went out on our boat last summer with some people we know that also own a cruiser. Their boat is about 6’ longer then ours. It was a long run. At the end if the day I did not ask for money for gas and they did not offer. We went to dinner. Each couple paid for their own dinner bill.

Earlier this year we again took them out. Another long run. Again, I did not ask for money for gas and they did not offer.

For the first time ever we went out on their boat. The run was the same run we took them on last year. In addition to us and them there was a 3rd couple that we just met on this cruise. This other couple were friends of the boat owner couple. Hope I’m explaining this so all can follow it.

Upon returning to the dock they first went to gas up and asked for each couple to ‘chip in’ then after the other couple did I also did, one Franklin. I guess I just did it to not make a scene at the time. Time has passed yet I’m still really bothered by how this all went. :smt013 I think the principle is bothering me more then the money.

 

[billandamy]

I don't know how old your friend is, but I've noticed that younger people (20s - 30s - ?) don't seem to have the same sense of "one hand washes the other" fair play that I always took for granted. In general ... you do them a favor or show them a courtesy and they feel in no way obligated to return the same. (just an observation ... am I wrong?)

Nope, I remember when that darn rock and roll music came along and made the youngins shake their hips in an obscene way. Today's youth. Hmmmph.
:grin:

 

[dgrumm]

I'm in my late 20's, as are some of my friends, and I don't think we have ever taken out friends without them offering to bring something, pick up the tab for dinner, or both. Even though our friends are not able to afford their "share" of the cost of fuel, they understand it isn't cheap.
If someone offers fuel $$, I cannot accept... I would be going out on the water anyway!
If we're taking out other boaters, we just take their boat next time (then I can drink more!)

 

[rondds]

Not a generational knock at all - I think that it takes some more time and maturity to develop certain social graces. For example, never going to someone's house empty handed, call before you come over, calling people on their bday/anniversary, RSVPing YES and then just blowing it off, or not RSVPing at all, bringing a picture frame to a catered wedding as a gift . Some people may continue this stuff forever, but it might take younger people longer to figure it out.

When I was maybe 18, my older cousin got married and I was invited as part of the invite to my parents. We all lived on the same block and one day I saw my cousin pulling out of the driveway so I stopped him to ask if I could bring my girlfriend. HOW GAUCHE!! He said OK and no one ever said anything to me about it; but today, I'm horrified at how out of place that was, esp when I learned later on how much a "plate" costs at a wedding!