Cost of gas vs cost of Friendship?

I totally agree that if you invite someone then the associated cost of the trip are on you. I usually tell folks to bring some food, snacks and drinks. I am not shy about that. If it is a friend who also has a boat and we opt to take ours (usually happens) I fill up before our trip and then again upon our return and split the associated costs and assume the wear and tear on my end.

My brother ask if his wife (sister-n-law) and her family (it was a family reunion) could come on my boat and take a cruise up to Mount Vernon and back (25 mile run one way). I said sure, though the associated costs of fuel based on speed, distance and weight (there was 16 on board) would be x. He happily agreed. And I happily took the cash. Matter of fact he left a few beers for me to have to calm my nerves once we came back to the dock.
 
Keep a paddle handy and when you reach your turn-around-and-head-for-home-spot, hand him the paddle. Tell him your gas got him this far, he can get you home now.....

I never did this, but the thought sure has swirled around a few times.

You can also print out this joke and keep it taped to the fridge:

boat081507.jpg
 
Over the last 3 weeks this same thing has went on twice.
Now the boat is ours so I do not expect gas money, If offered it would be nice but I do not expect it.

Time one, We invite a friend and her 2 daughters out with us.
We were out on the lake for a good long time and everyone had fun. My wife being smarter then I at times had planned ahead on us buying dinner for all involved, My wife, 2 of our children, the friend and her 2.
No big we did that and all was fine and fun. EXCEPT, Now this person calls my wife non stop wanting to know when were going out on the boat again, Of course it is assumed that this will be all on our dime again.

the second time we had my wife and I, One other couple and another friend with us, Over the course of the evening we decided to do stop off for some dinner, Our one friend had no money but we were aware of this, the other couple never mentions being broke as well and proceeds to order dinner.
It was close because I just barely had enough to cover it all not expecting to buy dinner for the whole group.

SO we changed who goes out with us, In place of jobless or otherwise really broke friends we take out those that have at least enough on them to feed themselves.
 
tdappleman said:
I don't like asking for money for the boat - in my mind I'd be taking it out anyway.
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Ditto. I have never asked and will never ask, but I am not consuming what you guys do, of course having a 5.0 21' boat. I fill up maybe once a week (though it was a few times this week while on vacation with the kids tubing, wakeboarding etc...) and I enjoy going out. To me its entertainment. I have been given $ from a couple of people who do not own boats...one couple who are close friends gave us $75 and I told him thats it for the year when he simply would not take "NO" for an answer. We take them an their child out (were out on Sunday for a few hours) all of the time (and always they are on our raft ups). Others bring food for the boat etc...

As well, I always volunteer my boat for wakeboarding etc when friends want to do so. I have the only tower, and really, I cant go back to transom pulls! I would never expect money for this because it is ultimately for my enjoyment: time with good friends, wakeboarding, hanging out on the river, chatting, laughing. THis is what it is all about for me, and the $ it takes to do this is inconsequential.


In YOUR case, I would have immediately said when asked for $ to think back how many times they were on my boat and I didnt ask for a dime. Perhaps their memories are shot?
 
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if i've told you people once, i've told you a thousand times. DO NOT INVITE LAND PEOPLE ON YOUR BOAT. they'll drink and eat you out of house and home, spill crap on your carpet, get crumbs everywhere, sit on your vinyl while all slathered up with sunblock, clog your head, schlep into your cabin dripping salt water everywhere, and then stick you with the tab and the cleanup. JUST SAY NO!:thumbsup:
 
rondds said:
if i've told you people once, i've told you a thousand times. DO NOT INVITE LAND PEOPLE ON YOUR BOAT. they'll drink and eat you out of house and home, spill crap on your carpet, get crumbs everywhere, sit on your vinyl while all slathered up with sunblock, clog your head, schlep into your cabin dripping salt water everywhere, and then stick you with the tab and the cleanup. JUST SAY NO!:thumbsup:
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I tend to agree, the only ones we have had aboard so far that did not do something that drove me a little nuts have been former boat owners or people who have spent alot of time on boats and want one really bad.
Sunblock on my windows makes me want to :smt021
 
rondds said:
spill crap on your carpet
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:smt009 Even us boaters spill...first day on Matt's boat, I spilled a freshly popped Guiness on the carpeting.

Oh wait, I mean....errrr...I dont drink on a boat :smt021
 
I have a friend that is rather "tight", but to be honest he really doesn't have much income to play with either. Ive invited him to join me from time to time for short cruises and I've never asked for gas$ nor has he offered to contribute. All fine and dandy...

Then he asked if I would take his entire visiting family from Calgary (approx 12 persons) for a tour of our area for a few hours since none of them live near water. He said that he would pay for gas since it was his request and it involved people that I didn't know. We agreed on a contribution of $200 which wouldn't cover all the fuel, but it was ok since it gave me an excuse to get out for a cruise. I assumed it was him paying the $200.

The cruise went well and all had a great time. After tying up at my slip, the guests quickly got off of the boat and began to leave while my friend said "How much do you want for fuel?" His family stood on the dock and watched uncomfortably, wondering what they had gotten themselves into. I replied, "that's ok for now, we'll talk about it later" not wanting to have the guests feel compelled to shell out coin for the cruise that their relative arranged for them. He proceeded to tell his guests "that's what I like about this guy - he's sooooo generous".

Guess what? He never mentioned it afterwards and I didn't want to look like a tightwad asking for $200 while he whined about not having any money. Well, the following summer he had the nerve to mention that his family was once again going to be in the area and.... THAT WAS IT!! I said to him that no problem, but this year the boat is not leaving the dock until I have the $200 from last year and $200 for this years cruise in hand.

He acted quite offended (of course) and said that I didn't ask him for any money after the cruise! Needless to say, he hasn't been on the boat since - Once, shame on him... Twice, shame on ME.
 
Friends, Friends,Friends
I can see mabey he is your friend, but you sure are not his. In your mind it looks like he got you more than once. O'well what the hell, if the lakes were not frozen you would be boating.
 
Jimmy Buoy said:
I have a friend that is rather "tight", but to be honest he really doesn't have much income to play with either. Ive invited him to join me from time to time for short cruises and I've never asked for gas$ nor has he offered to contribute. All fine and dandy...

Then he asked if I would take his entire visiting family from Calgary (approx 12 persons) for a tour of our area for a few hours since none of them live near water. He said that he would pay for gas since it was his request and it involved people that I didn't know. We agreed on a contribution of $200 which wouldn't cover all the fuel, but it was ok since it gave me an excuse to get out for a cruise. I assumed it was him paying the $200.

The cruise went well and all had a great time. After tying up at my slip, the guests quickly got off of the boat and began to leave while my friend said "How much do you want for fuel?" His family stood on the dock and watched uncomfortably, wondering what they had gotten themselves into. I replied, "that's ok for now, we'll talk about it later" not wanting to have the guests feel compelled to shell out coin for the cruise that their relative arranged for them. He proceeded to tell his guests "that's what I like about this guy - he's sooooo generous".

Guess what? He never mentioned it afterwards and I didn't want to look like a tightwad asking for $200 while he whined about not having any money. Well, the following summer he had the nerve to mention that his family was once again going to be in the area and.... THAT WAS IT!! I said to him that no problem, but this year the boat is not leaving the dock until I have the $200 from last year and $200 for this years cruise in hand.

He acted quite offended (of course) and said that I didn't ask him for any money after the cruise! Needless to say, he hasn't been on the boat since - Once, shame on him... Twice, shame on ME.
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He's a douchebag. Better off without him, imo. But I dont know anything else about him.

However, if this is his one fault, and everything else about him is cool, and you enjoy his company, then forget it and go on, just dont invite him on the boat anymore. $400 between otherwise good friends isnt a relationship killer.
 
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Typical of people who owe money - turn it around on YOU and blame YOU for not asking for it. Or worse yet, try and make you feel guilty for asking for it. Pathetic. I deal with crap like this every day of my life in my line of work - I refuse to deal with it when I'm away from work. Best advice is "Don't go there." Don't take them out for money and if you feel they'll take advantage of your good will over and over again, don't take them out at all, EVER.
 
Jimmy Buoy said:
I have a friend that is rather "tight", ........
Then he asked if I would take his entire visiting family from Calgary (approx 12 persons) for a tour of our area for a few hours since none of them live near water. He said that he would pay for gas since it was his request and it involved people that I didn't know. We agreed on a contribution of $200 which wouldn't cover all the fuel,

but it was ok since it gave me an excuse to get out for a cruise.

I assumed it was him paying the $200.

........After tying up at my slip, the guests quickly got off of the boat and began to leave while my friend said "How much do you want for fuel?" ..........

I replied, "that's ok for now, we'll talk about it later" not wanting to have the guests feel compelled to shell out coin for the cruise that their relative arranged for them. He proceeded to tell his guests "that's what I like about this guy - he's sooooo generous".

..........
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As an outsider - looking at this, I can also sea it another way.

You know what happens when you assume..................

He at least did ask you!

And when your responce was "that's ok for now, we'll talk about it later", he assumed you were doing what "you" have always done and demonstrated that it was "your treat".
 
I agree with Bill's comments....if there are other aspects of his personality that you enjoy and you want his continued friendship, then I'd let this slide. If it really bothers you a lot (as it appears to) and you still want his friendship, talk to him about it. However, it does sound as though he thought you were treating him and his family, just as you have treated him many times before.

One of my friends is also very "tight". At a restaurant, he'll split the bill and figure the tip, calculating each person's share to the penny. He's also quite well off. Bugs the crap out of me, but I value his friendship and enjoy his company so I endure it and get over it. We've been friends since high school and this aspect of ihs personality hasn't changed in 30 years.

Only you can evaluate your relationship with him, but some things are more important than money (don't tell my wife I said that:grin:).
 
Concerning the $200 charge for the ride, nobody has mentioned that this sounds like a for-hire operation. (Happens all the time with airplane rides, too.) All is well unless somebody does something stupid and you wind up in court. Sounds like a stretch, but I've read that 80% of all boating injury claims come from injured guests.

Just invite those with whom you want to spend time. If the money is a deciding factor, leave them at the dock.
 
he'll split the bill and figure the tip, calculating each person's share to the penny
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This has come up before somewhere on the boards and personally I don't consider it absurd. If one group orders 5 or 6 drinks and another orders none, if they have three cappuccino and two tiramasus, and you passed on dessert b/c of your cholesterol and coffee keeps you awake, you'd be stupid to subsidize their indulgence. Granted, to say "you had steak and I had chicken, take $5 off my part of the tab" is nit-pickey.
 
rondds said:
This has come up before somewhere on the boards and personally I don't consider it absurd. If one group orders 5 or 6 drinks and another orders none, if they have three cappuccino and two tiramasus, and you passed on dessert b/c of your cholesterol and coffee keeps you awake, you'd be stupid to subsidize their indulgence. Granted, to say "you had steak and I had chicken, take $5 off my part of the tab" is nit-pickey.
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Luckily, all of my friends are drunks, so I never had to do this. :lol:
 
rondds said:
This has come up before somewhere on the boards and personally I don't consider it absurd. If one group orders 5 or 6 drinks and another orders none, if they have three cappuccino and two tiramasus, and you passed on dessert b/c of your cholesterol and coffee keeps you awake, you'd be stupid to subsidize their indulgence. Granted, to say "you had steak and I had chicken, take $5 off my part of the tab" is nit-pickey.
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I agree in principle, and in such situations splitting the bill appropriately, rounding to $0.10 or $0.50 is reasonable to me. But he literally calculates to the penny, getting out his change-purse to pay.

But my point was not whether or not this is reasonable behavior, but that it is behavior that I find irritating...but not enough to cause me to end our friendship. So it may be with Jimmy Buoy and his friend, but that is a decision only he can make.
 
My boating expenses are much smaller than most since I only have a 180 BR. I don't ask for money nor accept money. I am going out with friends who will eventually do something for my family in return. There has been an occassion where the guests will pay for dinner but that is above and beyond the call of duty. Remember, I only have a 180. Plus my payment for them coming along is to be a spotter for me to waterski. If it is just my wife and I I don't ski but I can when my friends come along. That is more than enough to justify any fuel costs.

As mentioned before, accepting money may nullify your insurance if you don't have a licensed charter operation.
 
Jeff
To the penny is a tedious, but we have a friend that does it with a calculator and pen and paper at the table. I honestly don't care - some people are extremely exacting and get off on that stuff. More power to them!

All of us have friends who exhibit behavior that irritates us - hell, we probably irritate others and don't even realize it. True friendships can weather that storm. Women hold grudges longer and more often than men (OH CRAP, now I'm in trouble):smt100
 
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