Guilty or not?

Discussion in 'The Tiki Bar' started by Gofirstclass, Sep 28, 2018.

  1. NorCal Boater

    NorCal Boater Well-Known Member SILVER Sponsor

    Jan 24, 2008
    Covington, LA
    Cobalt CM23
    GM SB 383" Stroker" Alpha Gen I
    Mike, I have gotten the impression over the years that you and I are about the same age. I was brought up to be polite and courteous to everyone. I was also taught that you pick up anything a women drops, always hold the door for a women and allow her to enter first, when walking down a street with a woman a gentleman always walks closest to the street and pay people compliments. I even remember in a Dale Carnegie Sales and Management course I took years ago that one of the suggestions was to pay someone a compliment everyday. I will always believe these are all still good practices today.

    I believe it's all about being kind to one another. Our society has gotten so screwed up that everyone is looking for a hidden agenda. Telling a woman she "has pretty hair" does not mean, "Hey, nice hooters, can I see them" or whatever anyone else thinks you mean. To me, saying a woman has pretty hair means you are acknowledging the time they have taken to style it, groom it or grow it out if long....period. It should be no different that telling anyone they have a nice looking boat. You're saying that you noticed they've taken the time to wash, wax, update or whatever to their boat and you recognize their efforts. I've just spent 3 years and $16,000 refurbishing a 33 year old, 23' Cobalt. I did it for me....sure. But I also did it for the compliments I receive acknowledging my effort. When someone says, "pretty boat" I don't think they want to sleep with me. I simply say, Thanks.

    You were not in the wrong IMHO....it's the rest of our f***ed society that needs to get a grip.
    Shawn
     
  2. NorCal Boater

    NorCal Boater Well-Known Member SILVER Sponsor

    Jan 24, 2008
    Covington, LA
    Cobalt CM23
    GM SB 383" Stroker" Alpha Gen I
    Mike, I have gotten the impression over the years that you and I are about the same age. I was brought up to be polite and courteous to everyone. I was also taught that you pick up anything a women drops, always hold the door for a women and allow her to enter first, when walking down a street with a woman a gentleman always walks closest to the street and pay people compliments. I even remember in a Dale Carnegie Sales and Management course I took years ago that one of the suggestions was to pay someone a compliment everyday. I will always believe these are all still good practices today.

    I believe it's all about being kind to one another. Our society has gotten so screwed up that everyone is looking for a hidden agenda. Telling a woman she "has pretty hair" does not mean, "Hey, nice hooters, can I see them" or whatever anyone else thinks you mean. To me, saying a woman has pretty hair means you are acknowledging the time they have taken to style it, groom it or grow it out if long....period. It should be no different that telling anyone they have a nice looking boat. You're saying that you noticed they've taken the time to wash, wax, update or whatever to their boat and you recognize their efforts. I've just spent 3 years and $16,000 refurbishing a 33 year old, 23' Cobalt. I did it for me....sure. But I also did it for the compliments I receive acknowledging my effort. When someone says, "pretty boat" I don't think they want to sleep with me. I simply say, Thanks.

    You were not in the wrong IMHO....it's the rest of our f***ed society that needs to get a grip.
    Shawn
     
  3. NorCal Boater

    NorCal Boater Well-Known Member SILVER Sponsor

    Jan 24, 2008
    Covington, LA
    Cobalt CM23
    GM SB 383" Stroker" Alpha Gen I
    Mike, I have gotten the impression over the years that you and I are about the same age. I was brought up to be polite and courteous to everyone. I was also taught that you pick up anything a women drops, always hold the door for a women and allow her to enter first, when walking down a street with a woman a gentleman always walks closest to the street and pay people compliments. I even remember in a Dale Carnegie Sales and Management course I took years ago that one of the suggestions was to pay someone a compliment everyday. I will always believe these are all still good practices today.

    I believe it's all about being kind to one another. Our society has gotten so screwed up that everyone is looking for a hidden agenda. Telling a woman she "has pretty hair" does not mean, "Hey, nice hooters, can I see them" or whatever anyone else thinks you mean. To me, saying a woman has pretty hair means you are acknowledging the time they have taken to style it, groom it or grow it out if long....period. It should be no different that telling anyone they have a nice looking boat. You're saying that you noticed they've taken the time to wash, wax, update or whatever to their boat and you recognize their efforts. I've just spent 3 years and $16,000 refurbishing a 33 year old, 23' Cobalt. I did it for me....sure. But I also did it for the compliments I receive acknowledging my effort. When someone says, "pretty boat" I don't think they want to sleep with me. I simply say, Thanks.

    You were not in the wrong IMHO....it's the rest of our f***ed society that needs to get a grip.
    Shawn
     
  4. NorCal Boater

    NorCal Boater Well-Known Member SILVER Sponsor

    Jan 24, 2008
    Covington, LA
    Cobalt CM23
    GM SB 383" Stroker" Alpha Gen I
    Mike, I have gotten the impression over the years that you and I are about the same age. I was brought up to be polite and courteous to everyone. I was also taught that you pick up anything a women drops, always hold the door for a women and allow her to enter first, when walking down a street with a woman a gentleman always walks closest to the street and pay people compliments. I even remember in a Dale Carnegie Sales and Management course I took years ago that one of the suggestions was to pay someone a compliment everyday. I will always believe these are all still good practices today.

    I believe it's all about being kind to one another. Our society has gotten so screwed up that everyone is looking for a hidden agenda. Telling a woman she "has pretty hair" does not mean, "Hey, nice hooters, can I see them" or whatever anyone else thinks you mean. To me, saying a woman has pretty hair means you are acknowledging the time they have taken to style it, groom it or grow it out if long....period. It should be no different that telling anyone they have a nice looking boat. You're saying that you noticed they've taken the time to wash, wax, update or whatever to their boat and you recognize their efforts. I've just spent 3 years and $16,000 refurbishing a 33 year old, 23' Cobalt. I did it for me....sure. But I also did it for the compliments I receive acknowledging my effort. When someone says, "pretty boat" I don't think they want to sleep with me. I simply say, Thanks.

    You were not in the wrong IMHO....it's the rest of our f***ed society that needs to get a grip.
    Shawn
     
  5. NorCal Boater

    NorCal Boater Well-Known Member SILVER Sponsor

    Jan 24, 2008
    Covington, LA
    Cobalt CM23
    GM SB 383" Stroker" Alpha Gen I
    Mike, I have gotten the impression over the years that you and I are about the same age. I was brought up to be polite and courteous to everyone. I was also taught that you pick up anything a women drops, always hold the door for a women and allow her to enter first, when walking down a street with a woman a gentleman always walks closest to the street and pay people compliments. I even remember in a Dale Carnegie Sales and Management course I took years ago that one of the suggestions was to pay someone a compliment everyday. I will always believe these are all still good practices today.

    I believe it's all about being kind to one another. Our society has gotten so screwed up that everyone is looking for a hidden agenda. Telling a woman she "has pretty hair" does not mean, "Hey, nice hooters, can I see them" or whatever anyone else thinks you mean. To me, saying a woman has pretty hair means you are acknowledging the time they have taken to style it, groom it or grow it out if long....period. It should be no different that telling anyone they have a nice looking boat. You're saying that you noticed they've taken the time to wash, wax, update or whatever to their boat and you recognize their efforts. I've just spent 3 years and $16,000 refurbishing a 33 year old, 23' Cobalt. I did it for me....sure. But I also did it for the compliments I receive acknowledging my effort. When someone says, "pretty boat" I don't think they want to sleep with me. I simply say, Thanks.

    You were not in the wrong IMHO....it's the rest of our f***ed society that needs to get a grip.
    Shawn
     
  6. Gofirstclass

    Gofirstclass Well-Known Member GOLD Sponsor

    Apr 20, 2010
    Tri Cities, WA
    1995 550 Sedan Bridge,
    2010 Boston Whaler 130 Super Sport,
    1981 Boston Whaler 130 Sport,
    CAT 3406C's, 580hp.
    NorCal....71 for the next month, then it goes up a notch.

    And regardless of the ages involved, you and I could be bruthas from different muthas. I was taught the same manners, the same sense of respect and the same conduct. It surprises many women when I hold a door for them, etc.

    Last week I was in an office where there were 5 seats in the lobby.. A lady in her 60's came in and when she started looking for a seat I stood up and gave her mine. She was surprised. Flabbergasted would be a better description, and thanked me profusely, saying "it's not often you see a man act like a gentleman anymore." I just smiled and said that there are still a few gentlemen in the world.
     
  7. NorCal Boater

    NorCal Boater Well-Known Member SILVER Sponsor

    Jan 24, 2008
    Covington, LA
    Cobalt CM23
    GM SB 383" Stroker" Alpha Gen I
    WOW! Kind of a glitch in the system to enter my post 5 times. I only wrote it once....honest.

    Mike, I was 68 last April and grew up in Seattle one of 4 boys. When I was 13 or 14 I was playing saxophone in the school band and I loved the music of Henry Mancini. He and his orchestra performed in Seattle and my Mom and I went....just the 2 of us. It was that night she taught me lessons I mentioned above and I have never forgotten. Mom is now 93 and reminded her of that evening just last week.

    Through the years I have paid compliments to both men and women but as I got older and times changed the simple compliments paid to women became a problem. And I always believed the compliments were innocent. "You got your hair cut, It looks really nice," or, "Are those new glasses? They make your eyes look pretty." "Nice sweater. Is that new?". I continued to compliment the men as well. "Is that a new sport coat? It looks good on you." "You shaved your beard. That's a nice look for you." Now interestingly none of the men were offended but later on, a couple of women would report feeling threatened or uncomfortable. When reported back to me I was horrified that I caused anyone to feel that way.

    There is no way to win this. I've now learned to keep my comments to myself because you no longer know for sure what's appropriate or who is going to be offended. I had a female employee once tell me, "....it's only sexual harassment if you don't like it." So true.

    Our society has become a train wreck and this kind of stuff is so out of hand. I have been re-watching Mad Men and the way women were treated in the workplace in the early '60s thinking about our current societal views....Holy Crap.

    No one should be made to feel uncomfortable but sometimes an innocent comment or compliment is nothing more.
    Shawn
     

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