Guilty or not?

Discussion in 'The Tiki Bar' started by Gofirstclass, Sep 28, 2018.

  1. Woody

    Woody Well-Known Member PLATINUM Sponsor

    Nov 20, 2007
    N. Wisconsin/Lk Superior
    2005 420DA
    Cummins 6CTA8.3
    Yep, you definitely don't understand my post. Go back, read it over again, the important part is the first three words....By todays standards.
     
  2. Dani-Lu

    Dani-Lu Active Member SILVER Sponsor

    510
    Apr 20, 2007
    Long Island - Great South Bay / Delray Beach, Fl.
    2001 410DA
    3126 Cats
    Sorry to chime in, but I believe Woody was being funny, or trying to be, throughout his response. I thought it was very well written and funny as hell. But I also thought you guys went back and forth often, based on what Woody wrote. Or maybe there is no issue here and you guys are just continuing your banter, so I will bow out now.
     
  3. Boater420

    Boater420 Well-Known Member

    Mar 11, 2015
    Clearwater, FL
    '97 330 Sundancer
    V-Drives
    Westerbeke 4.5BCG
    Twin Merc 454's
    You complimented a much younger woman about her hair, in front of your wife, and your wife's mother.

    It wasn't just the compliment, it was what you complimented. Hair is something older women worry about a lot. Most of them are losing theirs, so to hear your husband compliment a much younger woman about her hair was tough.

    Your wife was embarrassed not only for you, but for herself, since her mother was witness to the compliment.

    The waitress was just being kind and preserving her tip for the evening.
     
  4. villain style

    villain style Well-Known Member SILVER Sponsor

    Oct 10, 2006
    Mears Point Marina Kent Island, MD
    2006 44 DA
    QSC 8.3s
    Cummins QSC 8.3s 500HO
    Not!
     
  5. bobeast

    bobeast Dance the Tide SILVER Sponsor

    970
    Oct 22, 2017
    Isleton, CA
    2002 310DA
    350 MPI w/V-drives
    If she didn't want her hair complimented, she should have shaved it off.
     
  6. Creekwood

    Creekwood Well-Known Member GOLD Sponsor

    Apr 26, 2009
    Oakville and Georgian Bay, Ontario
    '97 330 Sundancer, Raymarine C80 suite with radar, Mercury 310 Hypalon w/8hp Yammie 2stk
    2X 454 carbs w/ vDrives
    Seriously speaking. In today's world, any compliment to a female non-family member could potentially be viewed as harassment. At best, if there is an age differential, you WILL be that creepy old guy. If it is at work, it might very well be considered much worse.

    I would hate to be a young guy today. So many marriages and relationships in the past starting at work with a compliment that subtly indicated a potential interest. But I guess this explains the popularity of on-line dating sites. The intention is clearer on line, and it takes that uncertainty out of the equation.
     
  7. bobeast

    bobeast Dance the Tide SILVER Sponsor

    970
    Oct 22, 2017
    Isleton, CA
    2002 310DA
    350 MPI w/V-drives
    Excellent point. I met my wife at work back in the day. Had the environment been the same, we likely would have never gotten together.
     
  8. KnotEasy

    KnotEasy Member

    255
    May 14, 2013
    Whitehall, Mi.
    205 Sport
    5.0L MPI
    You would have been fine, had you said it to the waitress without Tina present.
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2018
  9. Gofirstclass

    Gofirstclass Well-Known Member

    Apr 20, 2010
    Tri Cities, WA
    1995 550 Sedan Bridge,
    2010 Boston Whaler 130 Super Sport,
    1981 Boston Whaler 130 Sport,
    CAT 3406C's, 580hp.
    Funny you would mention that. Tina and I met on Match.com about 14 years ago. One thing led to another and as Paul Harvey used to say, "Now you know the rest of the story."
     
  10. Prosideus

    Prosideus Active Member PLATINUM Sponsor

    632
    Jun 5, 2012
    Franklin, TN - Old Hickory Lake
    400 Sedan Bridge '96
    Cat 3116
    Never, ever say to a lady “You look nice today.” You are opening yourself up to a possible HR violation. I have always found it much safer to go with “You look unrepugnant today”
     
  11. Gofirstclass

    Gofirstclass Well-Known Member

    Apr 20, 2010
    Tri Cities, WA
    1995 550 Sedan Bridge,
    2010 Boston Whaler 130 Super Sport,
    1981 Boston Whaler 130 Sport,
    CAT 3406C's, 580hp.
    Prosideus, many of the women I know would take about 10 minutes to figure out if that was a compliment or an insult.
     
  12. katricol

    katricol Active Member

    Mar 4, 2008
    LONG ISLAND SOUND
    2000 540DA
    CAT 3196 660 HP
    not guilty !!
     
  13. Bridog

    Bridog Well-Known Member GOLD Sponsor

    Oct 4, 2006
    Gulf Shores AL / Brick NJ
    2016 19SPX OB
    Mercury 150 4S OB
    Are you saying women are not as intelligent as men? ;)
     
  14. Gofirstclass

    Gofirstclass Well-Known Member

    Apr 20, 2010
    Tri Cities, WA
    1995 550 Sedan Bridge,
    2010 Boston Whaler 130 Super Sport,
    1981 Boston Whaler 130 Sport,
    CAT 3406C's, 580hp.
    Who Me?
    [​IMG]
     
  15. northern

    northern Well-Known Member

    Jan 17, 2007
    West coast Vancouver to Alaska
    380 Aft Cabin 1989 GPS and Charts by Nobeltec
    Twin 454 strait shaft
    It is a different world. I have no idea what to say any more. A comment can be viewed as a great insult or it can be build as joke.
     
  16. douglee25

    douglee25 Well-Known Member

    Jan 13, 2008
    Dallas, TX
    Cruisers 3575
    Twin 7.4l
    I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm probably a few year younger than you and in no way would that be perceived negatively in our house. It's human nature to find the opposite sex attractive or to notice something like hair that makes you pay someone a nice compliment. Men and women can't control that. It doesn't mean you want to bed them because you made a compliment for crying out loud. My wife and I will people watch wherever we go... I'll see her checking out some good looking guy or make a comment to her girlfriends. It doesn't bother me one bit nor does it bother her. If it did, I would say that there is some insecurity there that needs to be dealt with.
     
  17. dvx216

    dvx216 Well-Known Member SILVER Sponsor

    Feb 1, 2012
    orrville,ohio
    2000 310 sundancer 5.7






















    n/a
    twin 5.7 300 Hp.
    In this day of jumping to conclusions the biggest problem is the accuser gets the pity vote and the accused is an animal.So lets say this waitress was tried of people commenting on her hair back in the days of common sense she would have just put her hair up but today I have a right to be me and everyone else must accommodate me world this kind of BS keeps happening.
     
  18. bobeast

    bobeast Dance the Tide SILVER Sponsor

    970
    Oct 22, 2017
    Isleton, CA
    2002 310DA
    350 MPI w/V-drives
    How sad is it that we've reached a place where a simple compliment would raise questions as to guilt or innocence? No need to worry about the coming robot apocalypse. We have met the robot and it is us.
     
  19. spikedaddy99

    spikedaddy99 Active Member GOLD Sponsor

    967
    Jun 11, 2008
    Prentice, Wi
    2005 500 DB
    QSM-11
    Like everything else today, there are going to be 2 sides. I employ 30 women, have 3 daughters, and coach 23 high school girls. They all can take a compliment with grace. You did nothing wrong. I try to compliment them in some way (not necessarily physical appearance) every day. Some of them would be more upset if I didn't notice a new hair style etc. Being nice to someone isn't flirting.
     
  20. JVM225

    JVM225 Well-Known Member GOLD Sponsor

    Apr 8, 2008
    Farmingdale, NY
    2002 410 Sundancer, Monaco Edition.
    3126 Cats.
    My wife’s company just sent out a revised “Harassment Prevention Polcy” dated 10/4/18.

    Wonder if it has anything to do with recent news stories........

    It’s about 4 pages long with lots of legalese.
    But here is an excerpt:

    “Depending upon the circumstances, the conduct can also include.........., blah blah blah, commenting about an employee’s physical appearance, .....blah blah blah”

    It goes on to say that it is not easy to define precisely what constitutes sexual harassment, but outlines the commonly thought of specific stuff

    Basically, after reading the four pages, almost anything could be construed as sexual harassment.

    It think it all comes down to how the person you compliment perceives the comment, not your intention.

    I’m lucky enough to be retired now so none of this crap matters to me anymore, but I really pity my son, or any other young guy who has to make a living in a co-ed environment.

    Sad, but these days you can never be too careful.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2018

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