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I hate that answer:smt021Good one.
"You , you have your boat" answer....
Good one.
When I use that type of reasoning with my wife when she buys stuff or want to buy stuff and she wants to justify it , I get the: "You , you have your boat" answer....
Three old ladies, Nancy, Margarita and Dora were sitting on a park
bench having a quiet conversation, when a flasher approached them. With
a long raincoat on, the flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in
front of them and opened his coat. Nancy immediately had a stroke.
Then Margarita had a stroke. But Dora, being older and more feeble,
couldn't reach that far.
Little Johnys walkin by his parents room and hears some noises,so he opens the door,and theres his mother,bent over the dresser and his father behind her banging away,Johny doesnt say anything,but his father gives him a wink and a shit eating grin.....Johny walks away and closes the door
A little while later the father goes looking for Johny.....cant find him anywhere.....finnally goes to Johnys room and opens the door......theres Johnys grandmother ,bent over johnys desk...and Johny behind her banging away !!!
Johnys father goes "Johny ,what the hell do you think youre doing ???"
Johny looks at him with a shit eatin grin and goes " It's not so funny when its your mother is it ?? !! "
Little Johnys walkin by his parents room and hears some noises,so he opens the door,and theres his mother,bent over the dresser and his father behind her banging away,Johny doesnt say anything,but his father gives him a wink and a shit eating grin.....Johny walks away and closes the door
A little while later the father goes looking for Johny.....cant find him anywhere.....finnally goes to Johnys room and opens the door......theres Johnys grandmother ,bent over johnys desk...and Johny behind her banging away !!!
Johnys father goes "Johny ,what the hell do you think youre doing ???"
Johny looks at him with a shit eatin grin and goes " It's not so funny when its your mother is it ?? !! "
Oh, that's bad:smt043:smt043:smt043:smt043
Think before you speak...
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - The last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could Immediately take the words back...
Or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word... He knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
'I think I like playing with men's balls
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands.. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'. I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said,'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, Bent over, spread his cheeks,And yelled, 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak!
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