Joke Thread.. post 'em if you got 'em

[CaptRonn]

The phone calls from hell

Donald Trump, Queen Elizabeth, and
Vladimir Putin all die and go to Hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and
ask what the phone is for. The Devil
tells them it is for calling back to Earth.


Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the Devil
informs him that the cost is a million
dollars, so Putin writes him a check.


Next Queen Elizabeth calls England
and talks for 30 minutes. When she is
finished the Devil informs her
that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she
writes him a check.


Finally Trump gets his turn and talks for4 hours. When finished, the Devil
informs him that the cost is $5.00.


When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the Devil why Trump got to
call the USA so cheaply. The Devil
smiles and replies,


"Since Biden took over, the country’s gone to hell, so it's a local call."

 

[CaptRonn]

So the FDA has just approved a new drugs for lesbians that suffer from depression.

It's called "Trycoxagain".

 

[TimW]

So the FDA has just approved a new drugs for lesbians that suffer from depression.

It's called "Trycoxagain".

For any of us “older” fellas there is also mycoxafloppin.

 

[Pirate Lady]

For any of us “older” fellas there is also mycoxafloppin.

Some old joke about it used to watch me shave, now it watches me shine me shoes. Dont recall the whole thing.

 

[ErikE]

 

[JimG]

Some old joke about it used to watch me shave, now it watches me shine me shoes. Dont recall the whole thing.

 

[CaptRonn]

 

[Pirate Lady]

View attachment 107365

Holy crap that’s funny. I see that peeps in car, alone, windows up, why?

 

[TimW]

Holy crap that’s funny. I see that peeps in car, alone, windows up, why?

Stupidity can’t be cured.

 

[CaptRonn]

 

[Jaybeaux]

 

[66pony]

Holy crap that’s funny. I see that peeps in car, alone, windows up, why?

Masks are to keep them from licking the windows.

 

[JayhawkCurtis]

A farmer goes to his neighbors house and knocks on the door, a little boy about 9 years old answers the door. The farmer asks if the little boys parents are home, nah the little boy says, they went into town. So the farmer asks how about your brother Howard? Nope the little boy says, he went to town with mom and dad. So the farmer stands there mumbling to himself and the little boy says, I know where all the tools are if you need to borrow something, or I can give dad a message. Farmer says yea, I need to talk to your dad about Howard getting my daughter pregnant. Yea says the little boy, youll have to talk to dad about that, I know he gets 50$ for the bull, and 15 $ for the pig, but I don't know what he charges for Howard.

 

[CaptRonn]

 

[spikedaddy99]

I looked that up on Amazon to see if it's true...

 

[Blueone]

 

[DougLas]

 

[CaptRonn]

 

[The Bill Collector]

 

[CaptRonn]