tmhudson2
New Member
Streets changing names are a frequent gripe of many of our newcomers; after they learn their way around, they accept the quaintness of local history.
I Cant Stand This State!!! >:-(
- Thread starter rondds
- Start date
Streets changing names are a frequent gripe of many of our newcomers; after they learn their way around, they accept the quaintness of local history.
Weave
New Member
I know a handfull of millionaires via pigfarming!!! Albeit they weren't the ones doing it but still:smt009
- Feb 4, 2007
- 7,251
- Boat Info
- 1996 450DA, TNT, Caribe dink w/15hp OB.
- Engines
- 3126 427HP TD transmissions
I know, I've personally given them lots of money. I like pork chops.
tmhudson2
New Member
My friend Bubba asked me to pass this advice along--
31 Tips for Northerners moving South:
1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel-drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along directly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals, live bait and tanning beds in the same store.
6. Do not buy food at the movie store.
7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
8. Northerners frequently think "Y'all" can be used in the singular. Not so, but it can be addressed to one person when it impliedly includes all their kin, living and dead. Y'all are best advised not to attempt the use of "Y'all" until completing at least seven years worth of listening to Southerners talk.
9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a Southerner imitating a Boston accent. We don't do it; don't y'all do it, either.
10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
11. People walk slower here.
12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you, either.
13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy." Eighty-five percent begin their new southern-influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
15. Be advised: The "He needed killin' real bad" defense is valid here.
16. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say (and, if you're too close to him, will be the last words you will likely ever hear).
18. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until December. May as well give away all those sweaters and buy T-shirts.
21. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at Kroger's. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed accordingly.
23. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
24. Florida is not a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there. If you've been to Atlanta, you ought to visit Georgia sometime.
25. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy," "Good Laud," and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
26. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.
27. Do not be surprised to find that 10 year olds own their own shotguns and are proficient marksmen. Or that their mammas taught them how to aim.
28. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush, green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
29. You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Ya'll oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
30. If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
31. Be sure you want to come South before you do. It's an acquired taste.
31 Tips for Northerners moving South:
1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel-drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along directly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals, live bait and tanning beds in the same store.
6. Do not buy food at the movie store.
7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
8. Northerners frequently think "Y'all" can be used in the singular. Not so, but it can be addressed to one person when it impliedly includes all their kin, living and dead. Y'all are best advised not to attempt the use of "Y'all" until completing at least seven years worth of listening to Southerners talk.
9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a Southerner imitating a Boston accent. We don't do it; don't y'all do it, either.
10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
11. People walk slower here.
12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you, either.
13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy." Eighty-five percent begin their new southern-influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
15. Be advised: The "He needed killin' real bad" defense is valid here.
16. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say (and, if you're too close to him, will be the last words you will likely ever hear).
18. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until December. May as well give away all those sweaters and buy T-shirts.
21. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at Kroger's. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
22. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed accordingly.
23. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
24. Florida is not a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there. If you've been to Atlanta, you ought to visit Georgia sometime.
25. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy," "Good Laud," and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
26. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.
27. Do not be surprised to find that 10 year olds own their own shotguns and are proficient marksmen. Or that their mammas taught them how to aim.
28. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush, green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
29. You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Ya'll oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
30. If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
31. Be sure you want to come South before you do. It's an acquired taste.
Nehalennia
Well-Known Member
- Aug 22, 2007
- 10,006
- Boat Info
- 2001 310DA twin 350 MAGs, Westerbeke 4.5KW
- Engines
- Twin 350 MAG V-drives
Good Laud, that's funny.
I like # 30, the best. And don't worry, I'm not moving down there, ya'll have hurricanes, and bugs and humidity.
Not in the North GA Mountians, but don't tell anybody:grin:
AndersonAcres
Member
Seattle has BIG spiders.
