Dilemma

G

gator1

Member
Dec 12, 2012
83
Lake Lanier, Ga
Boat Info
2001 380
Engines
7.4L v-drives
My son is 20 years old and comes out on the lake with us just about every weekend! He knows how to operate every system on the boat and can take it out and park it in the slip no problem. However, every time he has done this it's when I have been on board. This past weekend he asked me if he could take his girlfriend out for the day on the lake. I'm not worried about him causing any damage to the boat but I'm wondering how many of you would let your son take it out? I haven't decided whether or not I am going to let him take it out or not yet! Need some input....
 
My dad let me take the sailboat out from I was 14-15 :) (31') - never had an accident..

But make certain your insurance covers...
 
If you trust him, let him go.....it seems he has proven his competence, so show him you trust him and throw him the keys. I had access to the families 16 foot LoneStar with a 40 HP Evenrude Lark hanging on the back from the time I was 15 and it cemented the relationship I had with my father simply because he trusted me with something that meant so much to him.
 
20 year old son and girlfriend on your boat.....just saying every guy has been 20 before.....
 
How does he do when he drives others in his car? It does sounds like he has the knowledge and skills to drive the boat, and that's a big boat. Let him know your concerns and expectations, and if the weather is good.. let him go...
 
Has he piloted other (read smaller) boats on his own without you? The 380 is a large boat to start on. Both my sister and I started taking out boats by ourselves when we were 16 and 15, respectfully, but this was a 21'. We graduated to larger boats as we got older. As long as he is sufficiently trained I would absolutely let him take it.
 
I spent my summers on a lake in NE Indiana as a growing up. It was my uncles place and he taught me and all my cousins how to use the boats. We started with the 12 ft john boat with an outboard 15 HP Mercury, I think I was 11 or 12. We would take that boat completely across the lake to fish, mess around, go to the different sand beaches and go to the hang out spot. We all learned how to ski behind that boat, believe it or not! As he saw we could be trusted with that, we all started using the 18 ft closed bow. We all learned how to drive it, pull each other skiing and quickly earned the trust to use the boat pretty much whenever we wanted. Even taking it out after dark to go over to the soda fountain. I was 14.

If your son has proved he can handle the boat, and has a good head on his shoulders, let him go. I know I can trust my cars to my son’s, both of them. Once they learn how to handle the boat and get some experience under thier belts, I will let them take our boat as well. Its hard to be a parent. I know the feeling of letting your kids take control of things you cherish. I am having a problem letting my youngest (16) use my audio at home! I know, I know, why would I worry about that? LOTS of $$$$ in that system, and the first time my lovely bride decided she would “clean it”, she broke the stylus of $5K cartridge off..... But he is using it, he loves the sound, the LP’s and music. But......

Let him go!
 
All comes down to his maturity level. But if he's mature enough, let him take it out. I wish when I was 20 I had a boat to take my girlfriend(s) out on!
 
I'd be more worried about what he'll do to the girlfriend, not the boat :). Yes, we were all 20 years old at one time.
 
I think one important attribute of good parenting is capitalizing on teachable moments or opportunities. When my kids were growing up we used the principle that freedom/responsibility must be earned; it doesn't come with age, driver's license, or anything else. When my kids proved to us that they were responsible, we gave them more freedom. So, I don't have an answer for your question, only a question: Has your son proven that he is responsible enough to handle the boat on his own?…………and that of course, includes all the things that can interfere with sound judgment like alcohol, who are his friends, is he a follower or a leader, etc.
 
Three questions come to mind...

1) How old is the girlfriend?
2) How well do you know her dad?
3) Is he good with the plan?
 
Your son has proved to you he can operate the boat under supervised conditions but that is not the question. The question here is can your son operate the boat with very little help plus and be able to handle the distractions that are on and off the boat and make the right call if needed. How would you feel if you came upon a twenty year old operator and his girl friend on a 380 out on the lake near your boat?
 
I think the advice it solid so far. I agree and think that it he has shown he is responsible, then yes. My Dad let me take our 26' Sailboat out on Seafair when I was 18. I took care of it and gained his trust.
 
Lake-Inator said:
Three questions come to mind...

1) How old is the girlfriend?
2) How well do you know her dad?
3) Is he good with the plan?
Click to expand...

Not sure how any of these are really relevant assuming the girlfriend isn't a minor (which wouldn't be good since the son is 20).
 
Make sure he wraps that rascle! I bet he won't be sunburned when he gets back.
 
All good advice. Mine would be to explain that it's not about if he can handle the boat, but about his judgement. If his friends know he's on the lake, they may want to enjoy the boat as well. Good luck....

DOn
 
Obviously the key is that nobody gets injured. Material loss is secondary. If you feel he can handle the boat with the added distraction of only a girlfriend on board then I would say yes. It certainly would be a gesture on your part expressing your trust in him.
 
We took out my friends run-about as 16 year olds, skiing all summer. I won't lie and say we didn't break a few rules. A 380 is a different ballgame. And a girl involved. I think if you are even contemplating this, you trust your son and trust his judgement. Most dad's would say heck no. I assume she has no boating experience, so he has to untie and return to the slip all alone. I find it somewhat difficult in my 320 alone if there is a wind pushing me off my pier. You're the judge.

However, if I had had that opportunity at 20, the boat would have never left the slip :smt043
 
Have you ever just let him run the boat, start to finish, including prep, setting destination, deciding when to go/return, etc., with you just along for the ride? Do you trust him to drive his friends around in the car? Would you leave him alone with the house for a long weekend? How does he handle himself in an emergency?

It's basically a matter of how much you trust him and how well he handles responsibility, as well as the technical skills involved, and it all comes down to you as a person and him as a person, not father/son issues.
 
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