Depression

After my divorce many moons ago I fell into depression, more so because of "loosing" my daughter than the ex. I kind of shrugged it off since I didn't think it affected my life except for feeling like crap. Went for an annual physical a few months after the divorce and started talking to the Doc. Long story short, he prescribed Zoloft which I took for about 2 months and not only did I get over the depression,I quit smoking, started working out and felt better than I had in years. Agree with above advice of seeing a physician to discuss.
 
I know a bit about depression. Most of what I've read here is pretty much on... changes in weight, appetite, sleep, not feeling of pleasure for more than 3 days... there are a lot of "fuzzy" symptoms. Going to see a good shrink is nothing to worry about... remember a psychiatrist is an MD and can prescribe where as a psychologist is usually not an MD. See a psychiatrist and have a talk with him or her and they'll decide what is best for you. Doing it early is always better than later. And yes an internist or general practitioner may do the same for you... but what I read here about getting the diagnosis right is truly important... or at least according to my ex-wife who was a clinical pharmacist that did reviews for psych ward of her hospital. But most any help should be better than none, so see who you'll see!

But I find this interesting was well... There has been much written on the brain and how it works. It turns out we like to learn something and then we like to lock in on it... we love repetition, repetition, repetition... Once learned, we keep wanting to do it... A big effect on our lives is how we see it, and whether or not it's reality doesn't necessarily mater. I had a boss when I was young that no matter when you asked him how he was, he responded... always great! I worked with a guy that was the same way and noticed that no matter what was going on, he responded that and was honest that he was full of it at times... but he was always happy. I took a cue from these people and when I find myself thinking about being divorced... crappy women in my life... wonderful stock market, etc... I stop and think about the positive and make sure that when asked how I am... I'm great! It's helped me stay positive and some of the research out there is starting to prescribe it as well.

So, don't be shy about talking to a psychiatrist... look on the bright side, he's not going to poke you with needles and he's not going to put on a rubber glove and make you bend over!

Take Care of Yourself
 
Mark,

I am heartened by all of the well thought out posts here, and would like to add my $.02 too.

While I don't suffer from depression, my wife does. We have gotten to the point now where we can start to tell when she starts to get "low" and take steps. (meds, docs and interventions)

I can't stress this enough. Go see a Doc. If he/she suggests meds, take them. It is NOT a sign of weakness on your part. Let me repeat that. It is NOT your fault. Take your meds as long as prescribed too. Try not to get into that, "I feel fine, I don't NEED my meds" thing. (You feel fine BECAUSE you are taking them!!!) I have a bit of experience from the outside on this, and it is tough on the whole fam.

By all means, feel free to ask for help in here too. I'm a long freakin' way from CT, but more than happy to field that 4AM phone call if you need it.

Best,

Randy.
 
Mark, you are in our thoughts but I also wanted to say kudos to the members of the board. Very impressed with the responses seen here. :thumbsup:
 
Oh, and Mark, don't forget that putting her on plane for 30-45 minutes on a nice day is one of the best stress-relievers there is. Not a substitute for a professional opinion, but then again, I'm not charging you for it either!
 
I went through temporary struggle with it after heart bypass surgery at 44 yrs old. My issue was dealing with the loss in mortality, care-free eating / drinking lifestyle, and the why me syndrome etc... I resisted the meds and the "professional help" that was offered and struggled with emotions I couldn't understand. I didn't turn the corner until I accepted that my life had changed. Openly talking to family, and friends, helped me through it...don't be tough on yourself, find a way to excercise and seek out people that make you laugh!

I resisted meds because of potential side effects, know what they are before accepting an Rx....some are down right spooky!

Hang in there.
 
Depression is not something to mess with. Go see the Doc right away, they have a multitude of medications available. The medication, once the Doc finds the right one(it it may take trying a few to get it right), can be a borderline miracle.

Ray
 
I love Happy pills & they changed my life - wish I would have found them many yrs before :smt101 There is no reason today to be depressed & Angry -(except for politics & the market)

Tomorrow is our Pheasant opener - I love the opener (they are dumb & everywhere) & then they find the corn & sunflowers & are pretty safe then later when the corn & seeds get harvested they are back in the sloughs & CRP & trees

My dog loves it too - Life is good & screw the market & politicians
beerchug.gif


H20NUT(besides what I told you in the PM) check this out - kinda old - but funny & sarcastic & informational http://www.crazymeds.us/
 
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Having a wife as a pharmacist kind of opens your eyes, if I may make another point about drugs...too many people are on them for minor reasons. I do not believe drugs should be an automatic response to any psychosis. It should be a last resort, and only when biologically a person has need for them due to lack of their own bodies producing the necessary natural chemicals.

From the studies she has shared with me, it is staggering to find out a huge percentage (do not quoteme, but I remember it being in the 70% range!) or MORE people on such drugs for depression and other related illnesses should no be on them, but they are used as a crutch and first line of defense, or non chronic sufferers.

I am not one to say if this is right or wrong, as if it works, then by all means great.

However, the underlying causes of the depression are often overlooked, leading to longer drug duration, and, so the studies are indicating now that there are more years under the belt of research, that dependency on the drugs for happiness occurs, and simply pushes the problems into a later date to be dealt with.
 
I think Modern Man has been put into environments that for 1000's of years were not natural. We were hunter / gathers & explorers & dealt with stresses so different than today - no wonder our brain chemistry is screwed up - most of these meds today help put that chemistry into a balance, that helps us cope - many do it with alcohol or illegal drugs (some have always had imbalances due to genetics etc.)

I hear what your saying & 100% support going to a professional (not just your normal MD) to find out if they are right for you - some folks only need them temporary & others need them for life (some respond to just counseling) - But even normal MD's now believe they are great for many.

Another thing I have come to believe in Big Time is SAD - I know living where I do it affects me - I feel great all summer (being on the lake etc.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

I hope the days of mental health being a stigma are over - if you have physical pain you would take meds & meds for countless other physical ailments

Just recently the Gov. made mental health on par with other ailments http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/10/opinion/lweb10mental.html?_r=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin

There is no longer anything to be ashamed of - why folks live with Anger & Depression or other mental illness - Is only out of stubbornness & not keeping up with what is available for people today
 
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Fetch ND said:
I think Modern Man has been put into environments that for 1000's of years were not natural. We were hunter / gathers & explorers & dealt with stresses so different than today - no wonder our brain chemistry is screwed up - most of these meds today help put that chemistry into a balance, that helps us cope - many do it with alcohol or illegal drugs (some have always had imbalances due to genetics etc.)

I hear what your saying & 100% support going to a professional (not just your normal MD) to find out if they are right for you - some folks only need them temporary & others need them for life (some respond to just counseling) - But even normal MD's now believe they are great for many.

Another thing I have come to believe in Big Time is SAD - I know living where I do it affects me - I feel great all summer (being on the lake etc.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

I hope the days of mental health being a stigma are over - if you have physical pain you would take meds & meds for countless other physical ailments

Just recently the Gov. made mental health on par with other ailments http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/10/opinion/lweb10mental.html?_r=1&ref=opinion&oref=slogin

There is no longer anything to be ashamed of - why folks live with Anger & Depression or other mental illness - Is only out of stubbornness & not keeping up with what is available for people today
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Interesting take on the subject...I wish to digest what you wrote and mull it over.

As a side note, please do not think I was trying to make it sound as if there is a stigma...quite the opposite. I was merely stating that I think people are stronger than they believe themselves to be, and the easiest path is to get on meds. Heck, most doctors, the FIRST thing they do is prescribe low dose of correction.

If you could mull this over...perhaps we have been conditioned to accept that meds are necessary because it is the simplest route to take than to face problems or do the long tedious (and oft tough) process of changing who we are, or what situation we are in.

All of this is chemical imbalance aside. There are cases where psychosis is strictly chemical, but it seems, according to many in the field, most people fall outside this specific need.
 
I hear ya & you are right on many things - But I prefer to think of it as smart instead of easy - but easy is better than doing nothing - sure 70% seems high & you would be surprised who are in the 70% that never tell anyone - as you go threw your life, consider how many should get help ? - I sometimes think there are 70% who are miserable / dangerous or burnt out & could change their lives

& I don't have any stocks in companies that make any of these drugs - But I bet there are going to be a lot of folks who will need them, with what is happening these days - many of these drugs are now Generic & cost a lot less & available to many more, than a few yrs ago
 
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I completely agree with all the advice to get professional assistance. There is no shame. Science has learned a lot about how the brain physiology works when we are faced with issues.

I also encourage you to remember that we are not alone. The many concerned friends on this site are real. So is God. Good things have happened in my life when I have given the weel to Him and accepted what course he took me on. Wise men still seek him.
 
Fetch ND said:
& I don't have any stocks in companies that make any of these drugs - But I bet there are going to be a lot of folks who will need them, with what is happening these days - many of these drugs are now Generic & cost a lot less & available to many more, than a few yrs ago
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My wife is a pharmacist, the rise in prescriptions has been huge. I should try and get her to get involved in this thread.
 
Mark, I agree with what has alrady been stated-get PROFESSIONAL help. I have been through the depression thing and it sucks. However,it can and will pass. Figure out what path you want to take,feel out your spouse(see if she's on board for working things out) and do what you have to do. It won't be easy but,you can get past this.

This is not professional advice-I am not a professional. Medication didn't work for me-made me feel too weird(and suicidal). What did work was:honesty-with yourself and anyone you may have hurt/betrayed. Not saying you did something wrong here-just saying be honest with everyone involved and don't keep stuff inside. It tends to build up and become overwhelming. Secondly:take care of yourself,physically,spiritually and mentally. Third:remember that you are only given the gift of life once:when its done,its done. No do-over. Make it count. Appreciate what you have,who you are, and who is in your life. Conduct yourself so that when you are gone-you have had a positive influence on people around you. Fourth:make a list,of whats good and important in your life. Put it on your mirror and read it every morning. Look at yourself while you're reading it and ask yourself:who do I want to be today? Finally,find something that you still enjoy(boating for example) and embrace it. Hard work is good for the soul,maybe find a neglected Ray and give it a second chance,or volunteer at the local animal shelter-whatever. Just do something positive that makes you feel good about yourself. After all,if you can't love yourself,who else is gonna love you. Sorry to ramble. Keep your head up and remember-we're here for you.
Mike
 
This is truely a GREAT thread!!!

I have another question. How can I get my wife to go seek help also? Right now she will talk to me about common house things and the kids, but if I bring up our issues, I get the cold shoulder. So I am just giving her, her space.

My wife has some medical issues, high blood pressure, stomach and heart issues. And now she has started smoking. I have asked her very calmly to please stop. She says she needs it to calm her stress and stomach.
 
H2ONUT said:
This is truely a GREAT thread!!!

I have another question. How can I get my wife to go seek help also? Right now she will talk to me about common house things and the kids, but if I bring up our issues, I get the cold shoulder. So I am just giving her, her space.

My wife has some medical issues, high blood pressure, stomach and heart issues. And now she has started smoking. I have asked her very calmly to please stop. She says she needs it to calm her stress and stomach.
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Thats a tough one. Um, you have kids-maybe use the kids well being as a "common goal". Arrange a baby sitter(if needed) and go out somewhere alone-ALL alone. You probably need to get all the"issues" out on the table and face the music. It sounds like you do care about her so tell her-in no uncertain terms. Be honest and tell her that she can't avoid the issues-they are too important and have a direct impact on the little ones. The kids emotional well being is on the line here and mom being sick(potentially life threatening) is not a good thing. Let her know that you will support her,whatever she needs(within reason)she'll get. Get her to commit and then follow through. Maybe helping her through the health issues can be your "RAY" and bring you closer together. Been there,done that. Don't expect miracles,just little victories and let her know thats what your looking for. Not an overnight 180,just small positive changes,one at a time. And let her know that smoking-will only make stomach issues worse,and complicate any cardiovascular or pulmonary issues. Thats the first thing that needs to be addressed. Help her find another way to deal with the stress. Maybe set up a place just for her. Devoid of phones,kids,computers and other aggravating BS. A sort of haven if you will. A palm garden worked for my wife(various species of palm trees and a sound system with only"relaxing/non emotional music"(Buffett etc.) Smoking is a hard habit to kick-if you want her to do it-you're gonna have to give it 110 percent. Good luck with all that.:thumbsup:

Mike
 
billandamy said:
Heck, most doctors, the FIRST thing they do is prescribe low dose of correction.

If you could mull this over...perhaps we have been conditioned to accept that meds are necessary because it is the simplest route to take than to face problems or do the long tedious (and oft tough) process of changing who we are, or what situation we are in.
Not to get off topic, but your comment here applies to the SOP for most docs when confronted by a malady, and we've become conditioned to expect a pill for whatever ails us, instead of looking at other things such as diet, exercise, and our immediate environment. Sometimes we do need meds, and sometimes we ought to try another route first.
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