Boating and Family

sfergson727 said:
Well, can't argue that point.....if there were a bigger money drain than boat ownership, I haven't found it...yet. Even airplanes retain their value, not so with boats.
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You should own horses then. Makes the boat seem "economical".
 
JimG said:
Now that's funny right there, I don't care who you are!
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Larry the Cable guy!!! LOL “If you don’t think thats funny, then you need to get H@ll outta here..” :smt043:smt043:smt043
 
christo15 said:
My family and I have been boating for right around 15 years now. We started with a 20 ft Grady White and climbed the ladder like we all do and now am proudly sitting on my Sea Ray 320 purchased just over a year ago.
With two kids in college, a wife that works part time, and a majority of non-boater friends, I've had difficulty really immersing myself in the boating experience. I have to pull teeth to get my family on the boat (besides my son who likes the boat more than I do.) Although it's great to have my son with me, my wife complains every time I'm on the boat. The only time she'll step foot on the boat and really enjoy it is when we have a big group of friends which happens all of maybe 3 times a season. Don't get me wrong, I love boating, I just am beginning to have trouble rationalizing spending all this money on a boat that has caused more stress in my family than pleasure.
Does anyone else have a similar situation and a solution? :smt100
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I do think that Chris might be on to something. When we had our 290 DA I loved it and the wife hated it. I would have to almost drag her onto the boat kicking and screaming. We finally talked about it and she said that she hated going fast, the boat bounced too much and it was too loud to talk. She wanted to go slow. I agreed to slow down, but on a more comfortable boat so we bought a 41 foot aft cabin boat. We spend most of our time at Trawler speed(7 to 8 Knots) with the gen set running, the a/c on and she loves going out now almost as much as I do. The engine room and fly bridge is mine and the cabin is hers to decorate any way she wants. In order to stay within budget we bought an old boat that needed a lot of work and a new interior so this worked well for us. Since we have done almost all of the restoration work ourselves, my wife has definitely made this boat hers. We also now have room to take all the kids and grandkids with us when we go out. We both really love that. Talk to her!!!!
 
M Huff said:
I do think that Chris might be on to something. When we had our 290 DA I loved it and the wife hated it. I would have to almost drag her onto the boat kicking and screaming. We finally talked about it and she said that she hated going fast, the boat bounced too much and it was too loud to talk. She wanted to go slow. I agreed to slow down, but on a more comfortable boat so we bought a 41 foot aft cabin boat. We spend most of our time at Trawler speed(7 to 8 Knots) with the gen set running, the a/c on and she loves going out now almost as much as I do. The engine room and fly bridge is mine and the cabin is hers to decorate any way she wants. In order to stay within budget we bought an old boat that needed a lot of work and a new interior so this worked well for us. Since we have done almost all of the restoration work ourselves, my wife has definitely made this boat hers. We also now have room to take all the kids and grandkids with us when we go out. We both really love that. Talk to her!!!!
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I think there is a bit of truth to all of the advice here. I will give you the flip side of the solution to getting a bigger boat. I was in the same boat as the original poster (so to speak). My wife picked out our old 280DA, negotiated a better deal than I was able to and she couldn't wait for spring to get the boat splashed. We took delivery and she hated it and had buyer's remorse. Something happened that changed things for her though... shortly after purchasing the boat in February of 2009 our youngest son got severely ill. We were in an and out hospitals for months before the maiden voyage in May of that year. All that stress with the health issues took it's toll on us.... I wanted the boat more than ever as a refuge from the stress and I also wanted to spend more time as a family. The wife wanted to back out of the deal. She wasn't into anymore. It was a battle that I won at the time but ended up losing in the end because it caused too much friction between us. She resented the boat because it carried bad memories of when our son was sick and she only saw the 280 as a money pit. It was a constant battle between the two of us.

Family is irreplaceable so we sold the 280 and I downsized to my 20' Cobalt. She loves the new (old) boat. We take it everywhere, it's easy to bring friends along, easy to bring the kids' friends along, it costs next to nothing to own....most of all, there are no bad memories like the 280 carried. If I had a crystal ball back then I would have never traded our 240SD for the 280. I've given a lot of reasons why we sold our 280 and all of them were true but the above is the root of matter.

Talk to your wife. Maybe there is something that she's not telling you (or that you're not listening to...like me). Maybe downsizing is the way to go?
 
pick up another woman that likes boating as much as you do and enjoy with her all the things that can be done on a cabin cruiser while your wife sits home and complains about the costs .
 
aerobat77 said:
pick up another woman that likes boating as much as you do and enjoy with her all the things that can be done on a cabin cruiser while your wife sits home and complains about the costs .
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Aerobat77, You know "off shore drilling" can be quite a financial and logistical problem. Not to mention the mess it causes in the environment when a leak is detected. Better to drill on the main land where leakage can be contained and costs regulated. :smt043:smt043
 
I'll tell you what the problem is.... It's your 320, I know this because I had one , and my wife would get tired of it quickly because it's a cave boat . She would get very agitated after two hours on this boat , one year we slipped next to a small carver sedan bridge and that was that, next year we bought the 480 and now we are on the boat all the time , but you will never cure tgat urge of hers to travel the world... Just do it with her like you want her to go boating with you. We recently traveled to montana ... No water just mountains , then we went back to the water the next weekend and oh by the way we can only travel on the water for about 4 hours , then she needs to walk , I get that .... She has to burn off energy that her ADD stores up so we walk the towns we visit. So truly my friend , it may just be the boat and you compromise ,when we're alone and 4 miles off shore she loves Offshore drilling outside .


Boltman
 
So what you're saying Robert is that size doesn't matter but it's more about how you use it. Of course going larger does have a fuller effect for the little lady and she can do much more with it.
 
OldSkool said:
So what you're saying Robert is that size doesn't matter but it's more about how you use it. Of course going larger does have a fuller effect for the little lady and she can do much more with it.
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that fully correct. should a man ever had heard from a woman " the size does not matter" she was only polite and did not want to hurt him.
 
My wife liked the 290...most of the time.

She loooooves the Bridge boat with a separate shower, 12.5' beam, bedroom with a solid door, recliner, etc., etc. It is a weekend condo with an constantly changing view.

IMG_0941.jpg
 
I was lucky that my wife fell in love with the boating lifestyle. Joining an active boating club helps as she can't wait to get to the boat and see our friends. I did take her down the coast in our 320DA and after two weeks on it, she wanted a bigger boat! I knew it would work...
 
seriously speaking - while i agree with you that a bigger, more roomy boat may be more comfortable especially in bad weather i do not think it would be the right solution here when the wife only complaints about the costs, has generally little interest in boating and wants instead to play golf or travel the world .

it should for sure not be the case that your wife gives you the "honor" she will put a step on the boat twice a year after YOU filled the tank, the cooler and cleaned the boat for her- when she puts you in that corner you will loose more than boating.
 
The fact is, some people are not boaters.
 
Thank you for all the help/ insight guys. I'm going to hit the ground running next season and hope I can change my wife into a boat-loving gal. I would love to meet up with fellow Club Sea Ray members around me next season and make some quality memories.

If not, the boat will be going on the market and I may just pick up a 17 Boston Whaler to tool around in to get my boating fix. :smt009
 
My Admiral grew up in a family who was into skiing and fishing. Always had 16 to 19 foot boats as was the norm for that activity back in the day. I've known her all my life and she never had a good thing to say about boating. Always referred to boating as her Dad's and brothers' money pits. When her and I started dating I reluctantly invited her out on my Dad's 28 Fairbanks for a day cruise in the Gulf Islands. Her idea of boating was completely different after that and she found her nitch in the small cruiser size range. She's not comfy on the smaller boats nor on the bigger boats. Each to her own. In Christo's case I would strongly recommend chartering a +/- 40 ft trawler for a week just to see the reaction. If you're not comfortable with the piloting duties then you can go a bit bigger and spend a bit extra on a "skippered" charter. It won't cost any more than any other vacation and it will serve a purpose; you'll have the necessary info to make a good decision on whether to downsize:smt089, or upsize:grin::smt038:thumbsup::wink: Good luck with the outcome. Don't try too hard, just take notes and come to a logical decision that'll work for both of you. I don't think there would be anything wrong with blasting around on CC Whaler with a couple o' 2 huns hagnin' off the back of it, while the Admiral enjoys a few rounds of tennis.
 
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