Merry Christmas

[J.Wilt]

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS and all through the boat,
The bilge pumps were hustling to keep us afloat,
The children were nestled all snug in their berths,
(We sleep here most nights to get our money's worth)

As Ma read Jackie Collins and I guzzled beer,
She said "You've had enough, now come to bed dear."
Then out on the dock there arose an uproar
As I reached in the Igloo to get just one more.

So up went my head out of the hatch.
(Though I should have thought first to undo the latch.)
I saw stars for a moment, and as quick as a blink
My wife yelled, "See, you've had too much to drink!"

The moon on the water lit the marina up bright
(Which was good, since the kids had lost my flashlight.)
Then what with my wondering eyes should I see,
But a fat, fuzzy old guy in a Bayliner Capri.

Instead of an outboard hung on the rear,
Tied to the bow were eight tiny reindeer.
More rapid than Reggie, these coursers they flew,
And on each of their hoofs was a Topsider shoe.

With crashing and bashing and banging and knocking,
I knew in an instant they must be docking,
"No Dasher! Hold it, Dancer! Damn you Prancer and Vixen.
Stop, Comet! Grab a line, Cupid! Get bumpers, Doneer and Blitzen!

Look out for that boat! Watch that seawall!
Now fend off, fend off, fend off all!"
He was dressed in a red cap ringed with fur trim
Along with a Speedo that covered just a fraction of him.

I was shocked and astonished. What could I say?
I also go boating dressed exactly that way.
He then grabbed a bag, a bulging huge sack,
And hoisted it up onto his back,

He also had sponges and a mop in his grip,
As he waddled his way o'er to my slip.
He said "My name's Nick, and my friend, I can tell
That your gel coat needs buffing and your teak looks like hell.

Your vinyl needs cleaning, your lockers arranging,
Your holding tank pumping, and your oil a-changing,
You've put these jobs off for too long and you know it.
So here's all that you need. This time don't blow it."

Then as quick as he came, he was back on his boat,
His reindeer revving and eager to tote.
"Merry Christmas!" he called as they cruised through the night.
"And regarding the beer Joe, your wife she is right."

Merry Christmas!!!
**Borrowed from a local boating form**

 

[bobeast]

TWAS the night of the solstice, and we were afloat.
Not a creature was stirring from under the boat.
The children were snug in their berths below decks,
dreaming of treasures in sunken shipwrecks.

And mom in her PJ’s and I in my skivvies,
had just settled down for some late night TV.
When out on the waves there arose such a splashin’,
I sprang to the gunwale to see what was a happnin’.

When, what to my amazement did I then discern,
a small wooden dingy was moored to our stern.
With a diminutive sailor so lively and slick,
I knew in an instant it must be Salt Nick.

He dressed in bellbottoms, pea coat and a cap,
a bottle of rum lay there in his lap.
He pulled off his trooper as he did bid to me.
“Forgive me,” he said, “if I’m a bit tiddly."

But it’s my custom on this longest night of the year,
to bless all the boats be they far or near.
I take a wee nip when I get to each mooring,
tis an arduous task, but never is boring.

So I wish you safe passage,” as he lifted his glass,
“May the gods smile upon both you and your craft.”
He drank half the glass, poured the rest in the sea,
said “a little for Poseidon and a little for me.”

Then he cast off the line and put hand to oar,
with just a few strokes I could see him no more.
But I heard him exclaim as he rowed out of sight,
“Peace to us all on this long winter’s night.”

 

[WV 320 Dancer]

Merry Christmas everyone....

 

[Jaybeaux]

Fabulous!

 

[KnoxWill]

Let's pray for Peace on Earth and Goodwill towards Men.

 

[Nater Potater]

Here's what one four-year-old grandson can do:

And, please note what's playing on the tv from a for-real VCR. None of that high-tech digital crap for us! How much more Christmas'y can you get?