Joke Thread.. post 'em if you got 'em

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A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend and says "Honey, I shaved down there. You know what that means!"

Her boyfriend said "Yeah, I do. It means the drain's clogged again."
 
The salesman approaches the farmer and says,

“Good day to you sir! I’d like to tell you about our top-of-the-line tractor. You will not find a better tractor than this anywhere and I can see that you are a man of discerning tastes. Tell you what — “

Old Joe interrupts the sales pitch and without a word leads the man to the barn.

When they get there he says,

“You a good salesman? Let me tell you a story.”

” The other day I came out to milk old Bessie. I just got sat down behind her and she kicks me with her back left leg.”

“So I tied it to the stall. Then she kicks me with her back right leg. So I tied that to the stall, too. Then she swats me right in the face with her tail. So I tied a piece of twine to her tail and looped the other end
over the rafters.”

The salesman gives a puzzled nod, and the farmer continues.

“Then my wife walked into the barn and she sees me standing behind old Bessie. “

“Now, mister… if you can convince my wife I was only trying to MILK that cow I’ll buy one of your damn tractors.”
 
A man is on a one-night-stand with this woman he met at the bar.
They go back to her place and things get passionate.
After sex, he notices a picture of a man on the night stand.
Worried he asks, is that your husband? Should I be worried?
She says no as she cuddles up beside him.
Well, is it your boyfriend?
She says no as she starts nibbling on his ear.
Well, is it your cousin? He looks too young to be your father.
She says, no as she starts stroking his member.
Well then, who is it?

That’s me before the operation.
 
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