- Mar 11, 2013
- 7,002
- Boat Info
- Sara Belle
2005 Weekender 215
- Engines
- Mercruiser 5.0 mpi, Bravo III
Sorry to hear that Mike. My condolences to you and yours.
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See post 32Mike, I'm sorry for your loss and the suffering you all had to endure until he died. <snip>
It does help to know others know what you are feeling for sure. Loosing parents is just rough however it happens. My Dad was killed right in front of us when his biplane crashed and burned at our family glider operation. His Mom was there and well as my Mom and my twin brother, a real family affair. In a way perhaps as tragic and terrible as it was, having the family right there made getting through it easier??? Fast forward 30 years and my brothers and I watched my mom wither away from Alzheimer's which was another kind of hell. In either case we had no one to second guess like you do with the questionable care that your Dad got. It's the Human condition and the real message we all hear is cherish the time you have with the people you love and don't let the silliest of differences rob that time from you.Hi fellas ..thank you again for all the sharing here. While your personal stories bring more tears yet again, you also help me not feel so alone. Losing a parent can be very lonely as many of you know. Especially one I was so close to. There have been times where I felt as if no one could possibly understand what I was going through, and yet many of you know exactly what I'm going through. For those of you that have also experienced this loss, I'm so very sorry. I can honestly say I know exactly how it feels now. This void ..this emptiness. It just can't be filled and it sucks. I know time will help but time is moving awfully slow right now.
@Gofirstclass I hope you continue to fight and continue to hold it at bay.
@brewster16 yes ..that's what I've learned after the fact and it creates a lot of anger and guilt. Why didn't I read more early on? We were told everything would be fine, and we believed them. Big mistake. It's enraging.
I have considered some sort of legal medical review of my dad's records to see if we might have anything here (and I think we do)..if only to help another family to potentially not have to endure what my family has gone through. But I'm not sure if my mom can do it. Definitely not now. If what she already suspects were proven as fact, I'm not sure she could take it. One day at a time for now.
@everyone who has posted here ...Amen and thank you.
God bless.
Here's one for you... I'll bet your Dad is more calm and comfortable now, than the water around your beautiful signature picture. Rest assured!Hi fellas ..thank you again for all the sharing here. While your personal stories bring more tears yet again, you also help me not feel so alone. Losing a parent can be very lonely as many of you know. Especially one I was so close to. There have been times where I felt as if no one could possibly understand what I was going through, and yet many of you know exactly what I'm going through. For those of you that have also experienced this loss, I'm so very sorry. I can honestly say I know exactly how it feels now. This void ..this emptiness. It just can't be filled and it sucks. I know time will help but time is moving awfully slow right now.
@Gofirstclass I hope you continue to fight and continue to hold it at bay.
@brewster16 yes ..that's what I've learned after the fact and it creates a lot of anger and guilt. Why didn't I read more early on? We were told everything would be fine, and we believed them. Big mistake. It's enraging.
I have considered some sort of legal medical review of my dad's records to see if we might have anything here (and I think we do)..if only to help another family to potentially not have to endure what my family has gone through. But I'm not sure if my mom can do it. Definitely not now. If what she already suspects were proven as fact, I'm not sure she could take it. One day at a time for now.
@everyone who has posted here ...Amen and thank you.
God bless.
Hi guys ...I haven't been on this forum much this year and well, it's been a devastating year to say the least. Last April, my dad (who lives in Texas and is 71 years old) started noticing some blood in his urine. He made an appointment with a urologist who diagnosed him with overactive bladder and prescribed him some meds. The blood continued and so additional meds were prescribed. This went on for a couple of months. It wasn't until June 25 that a CT scan was ordered to 'see if meds are working' at which point a tumor was found in his bladder. Don't worry the urologist said ...we can most likely remove it through surgery and you'll be fine. So on July 10th, surgery was performed in an attempt to remove the tumor. It was a failure and I suspect this surgery made it much worse. My dad was referred to a urinary oncologist who did not do any additional scans and thought they would be able to remove the tumor through an additional surgery. And so that was scheduled for September 9th. Through July and August, my dad's pain levels grew from manageable to excruciating and blood (and even some solid tissue) continued to be excreted. Through those two months, the urinary oncologist constantly blew off my dad and told him this was (likely) just due to the surgery and cutting of the tumor. Mind you I was pleading with my mom over these 2 months that something was very wrong and they needed new scans! She would ask, and be told it's fine. I still don't for the life of me understand how they were blown off time and time again ...maybe they just didn't advocate enough? I don't know. Anyway fast forward to Labor Day weekend, my dad needs to enter the hospital due to pain ...8 days before 2nd scheduled surgery. Finally, new scans are ordered along with the FIRST MRI.
The finds were devastating.
Not only had the tumor grown exponentially and was dangerously close to his sciatic nerve, but a second tumor had formed, cancer had spread to his lymphatic system, and he had nodules beginning to form in his lungs. In a nutshell, he was screwed.
And so the urinary oncologist offered to refer him to an oncologist in his group ..to which I said go F@&K yourself ..and managed to get him in with one of the top oncologists in Texas. But even he said the prognosis was grim ..likely 6 months to a year. Mind you my dad was already a shell of the man I loved and looked up to my entire life. He had already lost 50 lbs. and needed a cane or a walker to just get to the bathroom. But the oncologist had a plan ...we try chemo for 12 weeks, then immunotherapy and radiation. He desperately wanted for that tumor to stay away from those nerves. And so chemo was started.
October and November were hell for my dad and hell for my mom. Hell for all of us, but especially my mom and ESPECIALLY my dad. My dad's mental state deteriorated and he grew weaker and weaker. New scans in November revealed that the chemo was not working and again ..he had to go into the hospital to manage the pain. The tumor(s) had reached the nerves causing unimaginable pain and suffering for him. His back down to his ankles. At one point he was on 50 different pain meds from Dilaudid to Morphine to Toradol to a Fentanyl patch. And half the time it didn't even work. But we were still hopeful. The doctor still thought that immunotherapy and radiation were worth a shot. And so after two weeks in the hospital, he finally went home and did his first immunotherapy infusion the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. He had appts the same day with the radiologist to begin radiation therapy the following week. We knew things were dire, but we still had some hope.
On Thanksgiving Day, he couldn't walk and was going into serious decline and both physical and mental distress. On Friday he went back to the hospital. On Monday the oncologist said he was too weak and couldn't take anymore treatment and was admitted to Hospice care that Tuesday. 4 days later, this past Saturday Dec 4th, he passed away.
So that was that. I have all sorts of emotions around what's transpired here. Dreadful sadness, hopelessness, and more than anything right now ...anger. I'm angry at the doctors who misdiagnosed and dismissed his pain. I'm angry at the pandemic that kept us apart for so much of the last two years. I'm angry at all the precious moments that he will now miss. But most of all I'm angry at this disgusting, vile, evil disease called cancer. I'm angry at how it cheated my dad, how it ate him alive and made him suffer unimaginable pain and how it ultimately took him from all of us. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm devastated. I miss my dad.
So yeah ..it's been a year. As if this wasn't enough my beloved cat Sam who was my shadow for the last 15 years also passed away 8 days before my dad. So it's been super shitty as of late.
Anyway ..sorry to unload here, but that's why I haven't been around lately. Cancer sucks. It's horrible. And I wasn't expecting this to happen now, and it happened so fast. So fast! Longevity runs in my family. No one dies in their early 70's and most all have lived into late 80's or 90's. Top it off my dad never smoked or drank a day in his life .. so how he got this, I have no idea. I guess cancer doesn't discriminate.
So hold your loved ones close. Call them. Hug them. Tell them you love them. You really never know when they will be gone.
MProd Out
PS ..Probably selling the boat, but I'll get another thread going for that on some other day.