House guests, am I being unreasonable?

[OllieC]

If someone is going to lend me their place, insisting free of charge, relative or not, their bar wouldn’t be touched, other than an additional nice bottle of whatever they prefer as a gift.

Maybe we boaters are built a different way. I find it odd that people take advantage like that. +1 @Maggieiscrazy reply. People that do that shit don’t get called or invited anymore…and if they call me to invite themselves, then the cabin is closed for renovations, or someone else is up that week.

 

[Timeflys]

Some house guests are like fresh fish, after 3 days, you throw it out.

 

[Njlarry]

If we were your quests WE would be the complete opposite....hint! hint!

 

[villain style]

I'd feel the way you do. I'd have a side bar with the guy and ask him if everything is OK financially? Then take it from there. But you were taken advantage of. No other way to see this.

 

[spikedaddy99]

"Venmo me the money so I can order the tickets to the concert" Also, no one shows up to our boat without a good bottle of wine and bourbon. I know I've told this story before, but we had a couple out for the day on the boat and the wife offered multiple times to pay for fuel. I told her husband it holds 200 gallons and gas was 3 or 4 a gallon at the time. He told his wife to shut up finally

 

[Golfman25]

Imagine if you will, you're a teen ager. You're visiting the grandparents in Florida. Mom and Grandma are at the local supermarket stocking up. Mom insists on paying. Grandma says "no fkg way." They start arguing in the check out line and mom starts taking stuff out of the cart. Grandma "fights" back and starts putting it back in. Two old ladies going at it in the middle of the store. All ended with a good laugh though.

 

[skibum]

We have a winter home in a desired area. We have an open invitation to family and friends to visit while we are there, and usually people take us up on the offer.

So the latest guests are family. They are notably cheap, employed and do ok, but cheap. Sometimes they feel a little too “aware” of our financial good fortunes.

They decided to take a vacation and asked if they could stay at our house to save $2000 on hotels, I was fine with that. They are pleasant and easy to get along with. They were reasonably neat as guests, no issues with the stay itself.

They stayed a week. In that week they ate our food, our snacks, consumed our alcohol, etc. They even requested we cook meals in so they don‘t need to pay for restaurant meals every night. As supplies ran low, and we needed to go shopping, they rode along but never offered to replenish what they consumed, or to buy supplies for some of the meals. At one point, they purchased some of the craft beers they drank because they enjoyed it, but then put the purchased beer in the car to take home with them. If we ate lunch out, they never offered to pay for our meal.

We agreed to go to an event 2 weeks ahead of their stay and we told them what it would cost, they were all in. We ordered the seats and attended the event while they were in town. They did not bring cash to pay for the seats and did not want to go to the atm because they did not want to pay the fee. They said they will give us a check in a few months when they see us again. The last night they did pay for dinner but requested a reasonably priced restaurant be selected.

I feel taken advantage of, and a little resentful. My wife said just shrug it off, but I can’t.
Looking to hear some other‘s opinions on if I am being the A$$ here.

I know his brother. Well, I did.

Took many ski trips with him and his wife. I got annoyed at least once every trip watching him pull the same kind of silly stuff. The money wasn't the issue. It was the fact that they simply didn't care about anyone else. I called them out on it over 20 years ago and parted ways. Ended up standing next to them at a bar 2 years ago. I politely greeted them, asked how their 2 girls were doing, wished them a good evening, and moved on. It worked out great, but they weren't family.

 

[northern]

We no longer have repeat gust that do not offer to pay. Invited one to go on two week trip with us. Their expectation was "we will meet you at the boat" No offer of payment. Told them do to limitation I will arrange for a rental boat for them. They know how to drive a boat and have applicable license and training. End of planning to join us. They refuse to have house gusts. When I mentioned I was going to be in their town they left me a voice message. Stay in a motel and I will visit you. Best to set the rules before arrival. We are getting old and do not like to cook. When we have people tell us they will visit. I tell them we no longer eat meals at home and it would be nice to have someone buy us dinner. One good trick is to tell them that the sheets they will be sleeping on have only been used once.

 

[Pirate Lady]

I guess Im lucky, wife has 3 sisters that come once a year. Love to drink, eat, party. Pay for everything. Except fuel. Fine with that. My boat, my gas. Id burn same with or without them.

 

[White Shadow]

I had a neighbour who was really cheap like that. I used to get free passes for golf and typically when I invited someone out for a free round they’d by me a couple of beers as a thank you. This guy, on the other hand, would conveniently “forget his wallet” when the beer cart came by. Needless to say he did not get invited out for another round.

 

[northshore]

"I feel taken advantage of, and a little resentful."

That's how I would feel as well. I really don't get people that can't figure out how or don't offer to pay for at least a little something. Now it's back to what do you do about it. Someone had mentioned not inviting them or if they ask, tell them some excuse - I'd +1 that.

 

[KG & JJ]

NO, you are not being an ass. You were sharing your good fortune and they took advantage and expected you to foot the whole bill. That would offend most folks. The way I see it you've got two options... 1) know that you are giving extended family a grandiose vacation that they could not have afforded without your generosity and feel proud that you have great things to share and move on OR 2) don't invite them again and if they ask about it you can say that you've decided to no longer take on house guests...it was becoming too expensive. They'll get the picture.

 

[Maggieiscrazy]

NO, you are not being an ass. You were sharing your good fortune and they took advantage and expected you to foot the whole bill. That would offend most folks. The way I see it you've got two options... 1) know that you are giving extended family a grandiose vacation that they could not have afforded without your generosity and feel proud that you have great things to share and move on OR 2) don't invite them again and if they ask about it you can say that you've decided to no longer take on house guests...it was becoming too expensive. They'll get the picture.

I would say. I enjoy being generous towards my friends and family but I don’t appreciate being used.