Holiday Delima?

Pyrojodge

Pyrojodge

Well-Known Member
TECHNICAL Contributor
May 1, 2011
4,248
Lake Erie Ohio
Boat Info
1989 Sea Ray 340 DA
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twin 454 Mercs
Ok so I returned to work today to find one of my good friends and coworkers bruised and battered... once I got him alone in my office I asked him what was up... he went on to tell me that Christmas evening his GF of 6 years had 1.5 bottles of wine and other drinks and became violent. She roughed him up pretty good. I've known him for years and he is not confrentational nor would he hit her. But this time she beat him pretty good. They have been together for over 6 years and he doesn't feel like he can make it without her income. She makes double what he makes and pays all of the bills. I'm lost as I don't know what to do. This is not the first time she has acted out but deffinately the worst. What would you guys suggest? I want to beat her myself but jail time is not fun time and it might cut into boating season. I feel helpless to him he's such a great guy just picked a drunk partner...

WWYD?
 
Dump her fast. Money is not the basis for a relationship.
Also, he should not be putting you into the position of trying to counsel him.
 
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That is a taboo situation nobody is comfortable with in our society. Unfortunately it happenes a lot more than you think. Usually the aggressive female beats on her man knowing men aren't supposed to hit woman and when the guy finally blows up or even just defends himself she cries wolf to the police and makes the situation worse for the guy.

Money isn't everything and it certainly isn't a reason to stay in a violent relationship. He needs to find the courage and leave her even if it means tough times for a while.
 
No brainer, he needs to dump her sorry butt. From what I understand these things will continue especially if alcohol is involved. Sooner or later he's going to have enough and hit her back, the next day he will be in the back of a Police Car and all the money he has saved by living with her will be spent on Defense Lawyers. If he feels the money she contributes is worth the beatings then he should go to the local Gym that trains boxers and get a job as a sparring partner and get beat up for money.
 
Time to move ON.
 
Pyrojodge said:
I'm lost as I don't know what to do. ?
Click to expand...

Pyro, beyond being there to support your friend, you shouldn't do anything. He knows the situation he's in and he knows what he should do to resolve it. It sounds like his man card needs to be beefed up a bit and he needs to grow some gnarlies or he'll be stuck in that relationship forever.

It's not really any different from a battered wife. They stay in the relationship because, even though it's a bad situation for them, the fear of being on their own is worse than staying in the relationship.

Why not ask your friend how he would like to proceed, then just sit back and listen. Take your cues from what he says.

Good luck, my friend.
 
Dump her from a distance, buy a boat and live on it!
 
I recommend he gets a counselor and also start reporting/photographing the abuse just for the record.

As a friend, I'd stay away from giving any advice. If this ever went to court, you might be required to go to court and answer questions as to how you are knowledgeable to answer the other lawyers questions about the advice you were giving him... Just too much stuff can go wrong but it is OK to recommend a counselor and then sit back.
 
Go Aweigh2452 said:
I recommend he gets a counselor and also start reporting/photographing the abuse just for the record.
Click to expand...

Maybe you should suggest he marry her. Then, when she beats him up a couple times, he can file for divorce and take half of everything...and for once, make out on the deal!

Just kidding really...
 
Hard place to be in for you. Best advice might be for him to see a lawer. No idea what I would do in his or your place. Best he documents what went on and take pictures of his ingeries.
Do not know the law where you are but common law relationship is the same as marrage where we are.
 
Document EVERYTHING, doesn't matter how small or petty it seems, he needs proof. Pictures, videos etc.
 
Some good suggestions...however, he has to make a choice. If he wants to just put up with it, its a matter of time before the behavior escalates or she gets bored and moves on anyway. If he wants to save the relationship...for whatever reason (convenience, money, sex...who cares) they probably need to engage the services of a professional counselor. If he wants to leave, call Two Guys and A Truck instead. Up to you to decide how long you want to be his corner man and cut guy.
 
Thanks everyone... its a tough situation that's for sure. I have been friends with him since I we were in middle school. The girl is a nice looking girl from a great family. She has always been prim and proper around me. But she knows I'm a no nonsense kinda guy. I feel for him. I really do. I will suggest counseling and tell him if she does not feel she needs it then he will need to move on. Luckily here in ohio we have no common law... TG or id be tied to it... I'm pretty sure he has documented things... but as others have said a person can take so much then bam explode and the cops will look at him as the bad guy. Thanks for the advice and support...
 
He could speak to her parents and get her counciling but her parents may not be happy with their living together relationship to begin with....get her some help somehow or some other guy may kill her down the road, Mike.
 
He should just leave. This is crazy. No one needs to be in that kind of situation regardless of what sex they are.
 
Go Aweigh2452 said:
If this ever went to court, you might be required to go to court and answer questions as to how you are knowledgeable to answer the other lawyers questions about the advice you were giving him.
Click to expand...

I was going to avoid this thread but I can't ignore this statement. Do not fear her lawyers, her parents or anyone else for that matter. The guy has been beaten black & blue! How "knowledgeable" do I have to be to give him advice? I'd love to be on the stand & questioned by her lawyers. I could have fun with the guy that is ignorant enough to question my "advice". I'll bet I could make him cry, wet his pants or at the very least wish he had never asked me the time of day.

I shouldn't tell my friend to get the fck away from her but its "OK to recommend a counselor & then sit back"?

Sorry Doug, I'm not on board with you on this one.
 
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