Funny stories

C

capt_jack

New Member
PLATINUM Sponsor
Jul 10, 2007
180
GA
Boat Info
185 Sport
Engines
4.3 Merc
I was looking around for some fun content today and decided to do a little writing of my own. I searched on here and it doesnt look like ive told these stories of my own yet so here we go.

Story 1
So there I was (yes all good stories start out with "so there i was") minding my own business going through my normal routine of getting ready for a nice day of boating then the admiral gives me the orders to pull the boat out of the garage (oh why couldnt this wait) before the people that were coming with us for the trip arrived. I have a 185 which fits nicely in a 2 car garage when you slant it. Soo, as im pulling this out (not fully awake yet) i gain a little too much speed when clearing the drop down to the driveway from the garage.. As im trying to do my best to push the boat back we start picking up speed and off to the races we are! half way down the driveway i give up and jump out of the way so i dont get run over, the boat flys accross the street on the trailer and starts going through the field accross the street, the pin that holds the front wheel in the down position breaks and the tounge slams into the ground burring it a foot or so. So i grab the shovel and dig it out then our guests arrive and we all pickup the tounge and put it onto the hitch. What a fun start to the day that was, cost me like $30 to fix that damn pin. Sigh!

Story 2
So there I was (yes again) minding my own business at the ramp prepping the boat for launch. I drop the boat in after running through the quick checklist in my mind then pull the trailer up to the parking spot and it comes to me that the drain plug is definately NOT screwed in. I bolt from the truck running towards the boat throwing off my shoes, wallet, phone keys, hat and everything along the way scattered throughout my path, the admiral yells at me about the cooller, as im jumping in the water behind the boat i just simply yell "f the cooler, drain plug" and there i am underwater behind the boat for 20-30 seconds getting the drain plug put in. Finally when its all in i climb out of the water shirt soaked but who cares its all in good fun, after all who goes boating and doesnt get wet. The bilge pump definately was flowing full stream that day! Turned out to be a good day there though!

Well I hope everyone enjoys these, feel free to add some funny stories of your own.
 
1st experiance with a sand bar. I was 10 ish old. Dad Mom, Kid sister and I were on Dads boat in the Raritan River in Jersey. We ware clipping allong and the boat startd to slow and the engine started to labor. When Dad realized what Happened He powered down and tried to back us out with a partially raised stern drive. OMC Stringer. Not meant for this. No good. Dad tells me to get out and push. She moves but not far. WE ARE STUCK. The tide is still going out. Dad saw 5 on the chart. the fold in the paper covered the . of .5 six inchs of water. As the tide went out some more the boat started to lean. and soon around us were little islands. Playtime for a 10 and 7 year old. After what seemed to be forever the tide came back and we went back home. Never been so board. Islands are fun. but when Moms worried and all we have are sandwiches, now gone. Dorietos and plenty of fresh water. and no beach toys, Not fun for a kid. But we all laugh at that now. Dad caught so much ribbing, but its good for a laugh.:smt043
 
So there we were (I can do this too), the Admiral and I were heading out of Huntington Harbor, CA in our 24' Sea Ray. It was a beautiful day and there was a lot of boat traffic coming in and out of the harbor.

There is one particular section of the channel going out where you go under the Pacific Coast Highway bridge, go about a 1/4 mile with a jetty on the left and a very restricted Naval Weapons Station on the right. This channel is very narrow at this point.

At the end of the channel there is a 90 degree left turn. We were 4th in a line of about 8 boats of all sizes going out and there was about an equal number coming in at about the same time.

Just as we reached that tight left turn a 50-something footer coming in, and was supposed to turn right....didn't :wow:. This upset the whole flow going in and out as everyone had to scramble to leave him room to recover from his bonehead move and not make a bonehead move of their own. So now at this point there were boats going every which way including into the above mentioned restricted area which now prompted a Navy patrol craft to come over and see WTF.

Finally order was restored with no property damage and as the cause of all this commotion cruised by us we turned around to see the name on the offending vessel....CONCISE. At that point all there was to do was laugh and go enjoy the day.
 
So there I was (continuing the tradition) backing out of my boat dock in a 16 foot runabout with an outboard motor. It was a cool crisp morning with a slight breeze. About ten feet away from the dock the motor dies. I try to start it again. Nothing. Try again. Nothing. Check the fuel line and the squeeze bulb to make sure the outboard is getting fuel. By this time, my boat has drifted within 50 feet of the dam. Try again. Nothing. I decided maybe I should use the choke again, after all it was a cool morning. Put the choke level to full and tried again. This time the outboard starts, and what a start! The engine screams loudly and pours the two cycle smoke into the air as they always do. I bring down the choke to normal idle and glance towards the dam. It appears there is a massive sheet of rain heading towards me. Wait ! No...that's not rain! It's about 1000 black birds who have been frightened by my engine screaming and have taken flight into the wind towards me. The rain....augh!...is none other than poop from each of them. I had no choice but to duck my head and take the punishment of complete coverage of the boat and myself from head to toe! Needless say, I headed back to the dock to get cleaned up, and then begin on cleaning the boat. Have to laugh about it now but at the time it was quite disgusting.
 
barefoot1999 said:
So there I was (continuing the tradition) backing out of my boat dock in a 16 foot runabout with an outboard motor. It was a cool crisp morning with a slight breeze. About ten feet away from the dock the motor dies. I try to start it again. Nothing. Try again. Nothing. Check the fuel line and the squeeze bulb to make sure the outboard is getting fuel. By this time, my boat has drifted within 50 feet of the dam. Try again. Nothing. I decided maybe I should use the choke again, after all it was a cool morning. Put the choke level to full and tried again. This time the outboard starts, and what a start! The engine screams loudly and pours the two cycle smoke into the air as they always do. I bring down the choke to normal idle and glance towards the dam. It appears there is a massive sheet of rain heading towards me. Wait ! No...that's not rain! It's about 1000 black birds who have been frightened by my engine screaming and have taken flight into the wind towards me. The rain....augh!...is none other than poop from each of them. I had no choice but to duck my head and take the punishment of complete coverage of the boat and myself from head to toe! Needless say, I headed back to the dock to get cleaned up, and then begin on cleaning the boat. Have to laugh about it now but at the time it was quite disgusting.
Click to expand...

Winner imo.

And yuck fwiw!
 
So there I was enjoying lunch on the breakwall of the Rocky River boat ramp watching a line of small boats coming in to trailer. The ramp dock was full so a couple of fishermen in a bass boat decide that rather than wait, they're going to attempt to get the boat to the ramp without using the dock. So one of them puts on his hip waders and stands on the front of the boat while the captain brings it as close to the end of the ramp as he dared. The hip wader dude jumps in in a effort to "walk" the boat up the ramp...only it's about 7-8 feet deep where he jumped in. As his hip waders fill with water, he begins to sink. He grabs on to the side of the boat screaming. The waders as you can imagine weighed about 500 pounds with water so rather than undoing the suspenders, the captain decides to drag him onto the ramp, which he does. Now the poor guy is laying on the ramp, hip waders full of water like some beached manatee. As he is laying there, he works his prone body around so that he is now feet up on the ramp so that the water would drain. OMG, we never laughed so hard...almost brought my sandwich back up! :smt043:smt043:smt043
 
Boating with a friend several years ago when I had my 240 and he was in a 280. We were coming in the Gunpowder in the evening when I looked behind me there was an absolutely beautiful sunset shimming on the water. So in an effort to share this view with my friend who was just ahead of me on my port side I radioed him. “Mark go to 68”. Well the next thing I see is the boat takes off like a bat out of hell! When we got back to the marina he was laughing and I asked what in the hell was that all about. Well he went below to use the head, his wife had the helm. She heard me say go to 68 and she thought that meant on the tach! Good thing I did not pick a higher channel!
 
hack4alivin said:
Boating with a friend several years ago when I had my 240 and he was in a 280. We were coming in the Gunpowder in the evening when I looked behind me there was an absolutely beautiful sunset shimming on the water. So in an effort to share this view with my friend who was just ahead of me on my port side I radioed him. “Mark go to 68”. Well the next thing I see is the boat takes off like a bat out of hell! When we got back to the marina he was laughing and I asked what in the hell was that all about. Well he went below to use the head, his wife had the helm. She heard me say go to 68 and she thought that meant on the tach! Good thing I did not pick a higher channel!
Click to expand...

Now that's funny, my wife would've done the same thing.
 
The admiral and I were negotiating a meandering bayou not long after we had purchased our 280. I had to go below to use the head and as she was taking the helm I told her to pay particular attention to the depth gauge since we were in pretty skinny water. As I was returning I felt us run aground. Sure enough she came too close to a turn in the bayou and drug the outdrives. I told her "I specifically asked you to pay attention to the depth". She said she had been watching the depth gauge all along and we were in 16 feet of water. That's when I had to give her a lesson on the difference between the depth gauge and the VHF radio. And so it goes.
 
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