Best boating advice I ever got

T

timinfla2

New Member
Sep 22, 2008
578
I figured this would be a great time to discuss the various pieces of boating/nautical advice that had been given to me by various old and not-so-old salts over the years.

1. Always avoid scratching your shaft. Unless it itches.
2. Don't piss off the windward side of a heeling sailboat.
3. Any port in a storm.(this from Grandpa about the ladies - a nautical way of saying beggars can't be choosers.)
4. If she's not pretty, it's an electrical problem. Beauty is a mere light switch away. (Again, thanks Grandpa)
5. Before leaving on a boat trip - never whistle while you pack, never bring a camera and always call before you get home.(to let the old lady shoo the motorcycle gang away from the house before your arrival...)

So there - now that's started, let's see the wisdom pour forth.
 
Make up your mind....do want to get into boating or cars? And if you get into boating, never hang your fenders over the rail while underway....

boatcar.jpg
 
Southpaw II said:
Good advice, but if we followed it, this site would not exist.
Click to expand...
I think you need to re-read his comment. lol don't buy what you need or can afford. Not "buy what you need and can afford."

:lol:


B.O.A.T

Break
Out
Another
Thousand
 
I made up a few I will pass on to my son:

Never touch another man's wife's "aft".

The "poop deck" is NOT what it sounds like.

"Seamen" is spelled like this, WITH the "a".

A lot of "seamen" on the "poop deck" does not refer to the girl in college who first gave you "rear admiral" status.

A "c.u.n.t splice" is really a way to tie a rope, not a term to use while getting divorced from a bitter woman.

A "c.u.n.t line" is also in regards to rope, not the ladies waiting to get into the bathroom.

A "dog watch" is actually a smaller time period when a crewman is on watch. Not a wingman's job at a bar to keep you from having severe beer goggles.
 
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"If you don't stop throwing our bait over the side of the boat, I'm going to take this fishing rod and beat you with it"

Grandpa-1972
 
A few things left out of Chapman’s Seamanship:
1. Do not run over PWC’s. It scratches your gel coat.
2. When passing a ragboat, while creating a 3’ wake, make sure you inform the other occupants of your boat: “Hey, watch this”
3. When beer runs out your nose stop drinking for 20 minutes.
4. Large masses of silicone gel, while pleasant to observe, do not qualify as a flotation device.
5. Make sure the Admiral cannot actually see what you are observing through the binoculars.
6. When you relieve yourself while still in your swimming trunks make sure you are actually in the water.
 
Location: Lake Guntersville, Tennessee River, Alabama

MWPH,

A long time ago, about 20 years, I lived in Huntsville for a couple of years. Man you sure boat in a beautiful place. I did not own a boat at the time but I always thought boating on Lake Guntersville would be great.

Thanks,

Don H2H
 
HarttoHart said:
A few things left out of Chapman’s Seamanship:
1. Do not run over PWC’s. It scratches your gel coat.
2. When passing a ragboat, while creating a 3’ wake, make sure you inform the other occupants of your boat: “Hey, watch this”
3. When beer runs out your nose stop drinking for 20 minutes.
4. Large masses of silicone gel, while pleasant to observe, do not qualify as a flotation device.
5. Make sure the Admiral cannot actually see what you are observing through the binoculars.
6. When you relieve yourself while still in your swimming trunks make sure you are actually in the water.
Click to expand...
All good!
 
"Lower your VHF antennae when backing into your covered slip, the roof is the same height as when you left".

"Never use an old pair of panties for checking the oil, your wife may have forgotten they once were her's."

"Never shake a can of aerosol spray and act like you REALLY are enjoying it".

"A houseboat sideways in a lock is not trying to impress you with their boat handling ability."
 
HA! Festivus, as I was reading the first 9 or 10 posts I started planning on the Chief Brody quote. You beat me to the punch!
 
I thought docking speed was directly proportionate with wallet thickness?

The other great boating tip: Buy USED!
 
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