Another Lawyer Joke

Escapade

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Jan 10, 2007
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Lake Michigan
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston , Texas . He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.

The deputy says,' License and registration, please.'

'What for?' says the lawyer.

The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License and registration, please.'

The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law License and registration, please!' the Deputy says.

Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

'That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'
 
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Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food.

Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming.
One day the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "Wow! I just can't believe my eyes. There is a woman out there floating in our direction."

The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said, "You're hallucinating; you've finally lost your mind." But within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a stunning redhead, face up, totally naked, unconscious, without even so much as a ring or earrings on her person.

The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the beach and discovered, yes, she was alive, warm and breathing.

One said to the other, "You know, we've been on this God forsaken island for months without a woman. It's been such a long, long time... so... do you think we should, well, you know, screw her?"

"Out of WHAT?", asked the other.
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Q: How many Lawyers does it take to grease a John Deere combine?

A: It depends on how quickly you run them through it.
 
Take it easy, guys. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
 

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