Holiday Delima?

I would suggest you friend get a lawyer ASAP and file a restraining order against her. He is gonna need to go in with both barrels loaded and use all the dirt possible. It will get real ugly as it seems as though she is a Dr. Jykle and Mrs. Hyde type when she gets some booze in her and cannot be trusted. I would tell him to move out ASAP and remove himself from the situation- he should under no circumstances tell her where he is living. Let the lawyers start to divide assets. I'm not sure what the common laws are for your area but be should downsize his life while he still has one! Happiness is not dollars and cents- its having to sense to live without the dollars.
 
Jason,

I've seen this scenario plenty of times. It's very simple. He needs to call the cops during the beating and file charges against her! I can't believe no one has suggested this yet!! He has no need for an attorney unless he's on the wrong side of the law. Put her in the pokey for a night. He then needs to pack his bags & get the f*ck out of dodge. No judge will issue a restraining order without some sort of police documented history, at least not around my neck of the woods.

FWIW: I am not an attorney nor do I play one on TV. I have just seen drunken stupidity too many times and know where this is headed. Good luck to your friend. I hope he grows some balls and puts his well being before his poor financial situation.
 
This goes a lot deeper than money. This guy is hooked on the dominance this girl brings. He knows he needs to do nothing in this relationship. She makes more, she leads more, she has his ba..s in her purse and he is comfortable with it. Then she gets drunk and beats the crap out of him. She probably gives killer sex after wards to make up. After six years he needs to pull his head out of his butt and leave her.

BTW death threats by the abuser are not uncommon. If you want to help him you'll need to know what she's hooked him on. (It aint the money) Until he man’s up and tells you they're little you can do.
 
Maybe if he would do a better job of cleaning the house and have the meals done on time she wouldn't have to slap him around so often.
 
Hi Jason,
Are there children involved? Do children live in the home?
If yes, are the children his, hers or theirs?
At work do you have health insurance?
If you would rather communicate via PM feel free.
 
Luckily no children from either of them. Yes we have pretty good health insurance... and I have no problem asking you for info as you do not know the person in question... I care for this person that is the only reason I pulled him aside to see what was up. He is a great person just has a terrilbe mate. I will just have to sit back and be a brace for him what ever he decides to do. Thank you all for your comments and suggestions... keep them comming if you want...
 
Dee & I had our first argument tonight.

Me, Get me a beer.

Her, Get it yourself & get a job.

Me, OK I'll get my beer then I'll become a Porn Star for a job.

Her, Here ya go honey here's your beer, Now go play with your creepy internet friends. :smt024


Argument over. :smt001








































:smt043 . :smt043 . :smt043 . :smt043
 
Pyrojodge said:
Luckily no children from either of them. Yes we have pretty good health insurance... and I have no problem asking you for info as you do not know the person in question... I care for this person that is the only reason I pulled him aside to see what was up. He is a great person just has a terrilbe mate. I will just have to sit back and be a brace for him what ever he decides to do. Thank you all for your comments and suggestions... keep them comming if you want...
Click to expand...


Thank you Jason. I'm glad no children are involved.

My recommendation is for you to call the health proveder covered by your insurance, thus his insurance. The general number is fine or they may refer you to something spicific like behavioral health.

Your goal is to find out the specific phone number and who is accepting new patients. Most are at sat (saturation) meaning they will not accept new patients at this time. If this is the case they will ask who your insurance proveder is and give you options they have set-up out of network that are being allowed for now. This process may take you hours on hold and many phone calls. Again your goal is to do the work for him.

Once you have a name & phone number of a behavioral health provider that is accepting new patients and can see him for an initial visit with a reasonably short wait give him the information. Don't explain all the work you did, keep that to yourself.

If you or someone close to you has needed help in the past, telling him this story so he knows getting help is nothing to be embarassed about would be helpful for him to accept the help.

Your next goal is to get him to make the call. You know him. I do not. Ask yourself how you can do this. Do you give him time alone in your office with the phone? Do you dial the number yourself? Every approach can backfire and knowing the person as you do gives you the best ability to know how to proceed.

Please do not discuss this with coworkers and friends. This will work its way back to him.

Other then that my advice is to be clear to him that you are there for him anytime. You are not a trained professional therapist so I would add that you should listen but give little advise.

I hope this helps Jason.
 
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Great info thanks a bunch... yes I have not discussed this with anyone local... as I know it will get back to him. He has no clue about this site so I'm confident in asking all the professional people here. I will try and make calls tomorrow snd get with him after the new year... I figure for now my best option is to listen and care...
 
*UPDATE*

He moved out over the long weekend... changed his number... and is moving on. He doesn't have much furniture so I'm going to give him some.. glad he's away from the crazy chick... Thanks for the help guys...
 
Time to find some new "Buckle Bunnies!"


trashell.png
 
When he's had enough he'll move on! Everything happens for a reason and one day he will look back and because of the circumstances today hopefully it will bring him to someone new tomorrow.
 
What about AA? Get her fixed and press on. She has a disease. Seems like she's ok when not under the influence of the devil's juice. Send picture of boat and motor.
 
Guy in work was married to a woman like that , and she was a closet drinker she would hide the booze and when everyone left,,,
He waited almost 20 yrs to move out the kids are in theyre 20's now she gets 1/2 his pension and the house plus more. So the sooner the better I hope your buddy doesnt fall for the old. Im sorry ,i'll get help take me back. Routine. I've seen it happen in my line of work and somebody ALWAYS ends up in jail ... Best of luck to him.... Keep us posted.
 
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