Your boat rules?

F

fropleyquark

New Member
Dec 30, 2007
99
So, I was talking with some friends and they asked me what the rules were for my boat and realized I hadn't formalized them yet. So, I'm working on a list. Here's what I have so far:

*I know this is a family oriented forum, please forgive me if any of the below crosses any lines. Mods, just delete the post if it's too much*

- Captain is always right
- Walking the plank is a plausible solution to any conflict
- Pirate talk is always acceptable
- You must have attached natural female anatomy in order to use the head. In the event of an emergency #2, you are responsible for any maintenance/cleaning of head for the entire trip for EVERYONE else that uses it FOREVER!!!
- All urinating will take place in the water or off the rear of the boat. Being pushed in the water while urinating is acceptable and humorous; warm weather rules apply.
- Black man radio rules apply. Captain is the black man.
- Captian is always right


Additionally, everyone has a responsibility he or she must fulfill in order to sail. Here are the categories you can volunteer for:

- Food/Water/Beer
- Beer can be its own separate category if purchasing for 3 people or more
- Gas: Keep in mind $10 in Boat gas will not get you “there and back”. Common sense and/or Captain approval required
- Chicks: Married, engaged, dating, ugly, or fat chicks, do not count. However, if said ugly, fat, married, etc chick brings an equal or greater number of eligible chicks, they cancel out. Host is also responsible for undesirable/unqualified guest. For example, Dave brings Stinky-Pizza-Face-Shouldn't-Be-In-A-Bikini-Mary. Mary brings 2 Swedish bikini models. Dave is now +1 but must feed/bathe Mary out of his own pocket.

What are some rules you guys have? Suggestions?
 
I think you've got most of the important ones covered. Especially the gas thing. I think it costs me more than $10 just to start up the twins and let them warm up.
 
This made me spit my soda out, I was expect rules like "PLEASE REMAIN SEATED WHILE THE CAPTIN DOCKS THE BOAT"

Why everyone starts getting up and moving around 30 feet from the dock where I can't see and can't move around myself I have no idea then I worry if I have to make an abrubt manuver someone might lose their balance and go over board, if I need your help I'll ask and I'll instruct you on exactly what to do.

But I do like all the other rules.
 
On a more serious note- has anyone pulled together a list of rules for kids 12 and under? This is the first full season coming up where the boys will be regularly on board. I am planning on hanging the rules because the 2 younger ones have boundless energy and it needs to be contained til we dock/anchor.:smt018
 
For kids: Most important thing I tell them is that they need to listen to the Captain, even if they don't listen to their parents. They usually listen why I tell them to obey the safety rules, otherwise they could accidentally fall overboard and be lost at sea forever.

Make sure they know not to touch anything that they don't know what it does. Even if they do know, ask the captain prior to touching any switches. Brief them on how to get something to drink (ask a parent), how to eat in the cabin (never), and how to use the toilet (don't).

More seriously, for the kids we tell them to pick one spot and stay there when underway, and we make sure somebody is watching them. Also, they need to know not to just jump onto the dock when we get somewhere. About half try to anyway.

My wife thinks I'm a scrooge, but I don't want to take any guest kids who don't listen to their parents on the shore. Unfortunately, that rules out quite a few. Oh yeah, tell the Mom's no screaming to their kids (big distraction for the driver).
 
Joy Toy said:
On a more serious note- has anyone pulled together a list of rules for kids 12 and under? This is the first full season coming up where the boys will be regularly on board. I am planning on hanging the rules because the 2 younger ones have boundless energy and it needs to be contained til we dock/anchor.:smt018
Click to expand...


I went full circle on this.

At one point I had a “Safety Briefing” what was 10 items long. It was too long to read and too long for guests to remember.

I redid my “Safety Briefing” and its laminated and ready to go onboard on my next visit to the boat.

Anytime guests are onboard we recite the briefing before we leave the dock.

Here it is







Boating safety briefing:

#1) Life Jackets

- Anytime the motor is running children 12 years and under must wear a life jacket unless they are in the cabin.

- A throwable flotation device is located inside the cockpit cabinet. (open cabinet and point, keep open for next two items)

- Life jackets are located inside the cockpit cabinet. Additional life jackets are located in the cabin under the cushions in the forward V birth. There are more then enough proper fitting life jackets for all passengers onboard.

#2) Fire Extinguishers

- A fire extinguisher is located inside the cockpit cabinet.

- This vessel is equipped with a built-in fire extinguisher system that is automatically activated if needed.

#3) Stay inside the boat when the boat is moving.

- Please do not go onto the bow (front) Swim platform or gunwale (sides) of the boat when we are moving.

- Please do not attempt to try to stop the boat from hitting another boat or the dock with your hands. The boat is too heavy and you could be hurt.

- Please remain seated as we dock the boat.


If you have a safely related question please ask the Captain.

- Over -

Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!...Sending a distress call
#1) Tune VHF radio to channel 16. Say "MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY.”
#2) Say the words "THIS IS the HOLIDAY”
#3) Give position of vessel by latitude or longitude or by bearing and distance to a well-know landmark such as a navigational aid or small island, or in any terms which will assist a responding station in locating the vessel in distress. Include any information on vessel movement such as course, speed and destination.
#4) Nature of distress (sinking, medial emergency etc.)
#5) Kind of assistance desired.
#6) Number of persons onboard.
#7) Say the word "OVER"
Stay by the radio if possible. The Coast Guard can find you more quickly if you can transmit a signal on which a rescue boat or aircraft can home.



Note: Next is a CPR guide. Its a .jpg so its not pasting here.



 
On my boat the captain is always right. When we are underway the children stay seated period. But, I really like fropleyquarks list! Wonder what my wife will think about the chick rules.
 
You forgot one big rule on my boat. "You break it, you buy it."

I have some pretty rowdy friends that after the maiden voyage last year had broken:

2-Plastic fold down cup holders- Replaced with stainless fold down cupholders.

My rear seat- Design flaw from Maxum, the seat has a fancy way of folding down, but if too much weight is on the edge(Like maybe a girl on girl bikini pile on.) these brackets break. Still trying to find a replacement for those. We'll just have to find another place to have the girl on girl bikini Pile on this year.

My sunglasses- Crushed while somebody was going to the bow via the walk thru windsheild.

End cap on windsheild- Plastic end cap ripped off while somebody was going to the bow (again) adhesive obviously failed. still not replaced.

A friend who I was rafting up with's dog was almost killed- The Chihuahua mix got into the "punch" mix and ended up at the vet with alcohol poisioning.

Talk about a heck of a maiden voyage..............

Sunglasses, seats, cupholders, even dogs aren't safe.
 
Not exactly on point, but regarding the younger tots, I started doing something 2 years ago that has worked great and recommend it to all to try. The first time a child (4-8 yrs old typically) is on the boat, I allow time to let the roam around and check things out. I +encourage+ them to open every hatch and take a look at what's in there, pick-up the lines, sit at the helm, whatever. Do this while the boat is at the dock and I'm talking to the parents. Also weave in some of the safety rules. Their parents are incredibly appreciative of this free-roam period as they know how exciting the boat thing is to their little ones. When underway, they must stay in their seats but are now much less curious about all those latches...and actually usually want to look at what's on the water/land instead.
 
Hrm, well... there is one more... no whining about the chop/waves. Think this more applys to us with the smaller boats ;) cant stand when people complain that its too rough and want you to go slow because there scared or for whatever reason. I think walking the plank is a solution for this also. :)
 
This is for teenage girls. My daughter is now 17. Ocassionally, a few of her friends will stay for the weekend.

The mid-cabin where you slept is not your bedroom at YOUR house. It is MY living room by day. Clean up and stow all of your stuff into your overnight bag after you have finally dragged your body up and gotten dressed for the day.

Do not put/leave nail polish, perfume bottles, pointy hair clips/brushes on the leatherette or any other vinyl seating/backrest surface. These can break, spill, leak, and poke holes.

Do not overuse perfume. I do not want to smell you 3 weeks from now.

We are not you butlers or maids. Clean up after yourselves. I have shown you where the garbage can is. Use it. This includes the 20-30, half-empty, plastic water bottles that you opened, but are now uninterested in because they are not cold after you left them in the sun.

You are not blind, so you would have seen where the sink is. Please place your used plates, utensils, etc. in the sink.

Expect to intimately learn how a vac-u-flush system works, if you put something in there that doesn't belong there. Enough said on this subject.

Close the cabin door. My A/C will not cool the cockpit or marina.

IF, you can follow the above I am sure that you will have a fun weekend swimming in the lake or pool, riding in the dink around the harbor, and shopping in the quaint lakeside town.
 
We developed "Docking Position" for our two young boys (6,2) where they sit and look and report all sticks and ducks. It gives them something to do, occupies them and is not too distracting for me when docking.
 
capt_jack said:
Hrm, well... there is one more... no whining about the chop/waves. Think this more applys to us with the smaller boats ;) cant stand when people complain that its too rough and want you to go slow because there scared or for whatever reason. I think walking the plank is a solution for this also. :)
Click to expand...




I guess we will have to disagree on this one. If the roughness is at such an extreme that it’s a safety concern then it’s an issue. Even in rough water you can greatly reduce the pounding by slowing down even if this means coming off plane.

My wife and I are very safety conscious especially when it comes to our kids. I’m sure we are overly sensitive having had the tragic experience of having a child die in our arms in 1999. (was not boating related)

Back in 2004 we were out in a smaller open bow boat when our youngest was an infant. It got ruff and the bouncing was harder then it should have been for an infant with their developing neck and disproportionate head weigh that infants have. We asked to be taken back to the dock, slowly.

Our youngest is now 4 ½ and fine. Part of our reasoning to getting a larger boat was for the safer and smoother ride.
 
Heh. Knowing the boat and having control really gives a higher comfort level to the driver than to the crew. On two occassions last year, the crew declined to go out because of "rough conditions" when I thought things were simply fine.

But this thread has become way to serious.

Going back to the first post, I think the following rule should apply to children under 12:

"Whenever aboard, all children shall be bound and gagged."
"Misbehaving children will not be provided a tow rope after boarding the tube".
 
Don't fall down while flashing a tow captain and his crew...
Our boat cruises 8 / sleeps 2...
 
330DA said:
This is for teenage girls. My daughter is now 17. Ocassionally, a few of her friends will stay for the weekend............
Click to expand...


Without quoting the entire post, I'd like to ask one question...."Did any of that work"......:grin:...

I did/said the same things when my daughter's friends would cruise with us.......I learned to just deal with it.....

Oh...and you forgot one.....Only one bag and One pillow per person.....they didn't listen to that one either.....
 
NO SHOES!!!!

You get it dirty....you clean it (by my standards, not yours)

NO food in my bed (v-berth)

NO paper (or anything else) in the potty

NO whining, NO crying, NO pouting

and last but not least....remember---come play with me, but this is my boat not yours...touch nothing unless I tell you too!!! (I am a mean ***** huh?)
 
Last edited:
Rules for adults:

1. Bring beer. If no beer, dont worry about learning the other rules 'cause you ain't coming aboard.

2. No thongs/speedos for the men

3. No one piece for women
3a. Unless covering will be best according to body shape

Rules for kids:

1. Sit down

2. Shut up

3. Hold on
 
With the smaller kids, I'll give them important titles and some duties. My nephew is the Navigator, once in awhile I'll ask him to look at the gps and see if we are on course. He loves it and thinks he's doing something necessary. He actually behaves better on the boat now that he is part of the crew that runs it.
 
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