Q: What do you call a pig thief?
A: A hamburglar.
Q: How do pigs write top secret messages?
A: With invisible oink!
Q: Who is the smartest pig in the world?
A: Ein- swine
Q: How do you take a sick pig to the hospital?
A: In an hambulance!
Q: What do you call a pig that drives recklessly?
A: A road hog.
Q: What do you call a pig with laryngitis?
A: Disgruntled.
Q: What did the pig say when he was sick?
A: "Call the hambulance!"
Q: What do pigs get when they're ill?
A: Oinkment!
Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: Porkchop!
Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A: a porky-pine
Q: What do you call a pig that won the lottery?
A: Filthy rich!
What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
A: A pig tail!
Q: What do you call it when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?
A: Jurassic pork!
Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A: A porkasaurus rex!
Q: What happened to the pig who lost its voice?
A: It became disgruntled!
Q: What happened when the pig pen broke?
A: The pigs had to use a pencil!
Q: Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read?
A: "Porks Illustrated!"
Q: What do you call a pig with a rash?
A: Ham and Eczema
Q: Why did it take the pig hours to cross the road?
A: Because he was a slow-pork!
Q: Why did the farmer call his pig ink?
A: Because it always ran out of the pen!
Q: What do you get when a pig mixed two colors?
A: pigment
Q: Why should you never tell a pig a secret?
A: Because they love to squeal!
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A: Lawrence of Poland.
Q: How do you make a pig squeal?
A: Kick your step mum in the FACE!
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A: A woman that won't do what she's told.
Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A: Because men are pigs
Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
A pig fell in the mud.
Do you want to hear a clean joke?
A pig took a bath.
Are you here all week?
