You had to know it was coming....

Gofirstclass

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Apr 20, 2010
11,670
Tri Cities, WA
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A BOATING BAN IN THE WORKS?

-(AP)- Miami News has recently surfaced about a six year long research project conducted by the Marine Biology Department of the University of West Florida, located north of Pensacola, FL. The University today announced the as-yet-unpublished research project that is being heralded throughout the marine biology field as a major breakthrough.

According to Marine Biology Department Head Roger Crankston, researchers at UWF have been working on translating the sounds that fish make when they communicate with each other. Researchers have observed schools of fish and how they seem to move in unison. Large schools of fish seem to have some undetected language they use to signal each other when danger is near. The fish use these communication tools to provide such things as turning directions, directions to food sources, the presence of predatory fish, etc.

Researchers have long suspected that fish have a low-frequency language of chirps and other sounds for the basis of their communication. Researchers used extensive recording equipment to log the sounds these schools of fish make, then catalogued the sounds into “fish languages.”

Crankston , in announcing the study and the results, said that while various breeds of fish have slightly different sounds, there are many similarities from one species to another. As an example, fish species that are on the lower end of the food chain all have similar sounds they make when danger is present. Due to the rapid rate that sound travels through water, these sounds are quickly spread throughout that school of fish and also picked up by other nearby schools of fish.

Crankston went on to say that a danger signal from one species of fish can easily be interpreted by other species. Those danger signals then are “telegraphed” from one area to another. He likened the fast dispersal of a danger signal over wide distances to how quickly a message can travel over the internet.

One area of the fish study that will raise serious debate is how the results of these studies are being used. Crankston , in 2014, quietly contacted several other marine research institutes in the SW states with the preliminary results of his studies. The researchers have also been in contact with state legislators in Gulf states as well as states in the Atlantic region as far north as New Jersey.

The researchers have quietly been pressuring legislators of those 12 states to push through legislation to severely restrict the use of boats in coastal waters. The basis for the legislation would be that the sounds from the boat engines are loud enough to mask the dangers signals from the fish.

This “masking” of the danger signals has resulted in the deaths of countless millions of smaller fish by larger fish as the danger signals could not be heard over the sounds of boat engines.

Crankston said he personally has seen large schools of fish decimated by predatory fish when their danger signals were masked by nearby boats. In one instance that he spoke of, he was diving in the Gulf of Mexico near the mouth of the Escambia River. He watched in horror as a school of thousands of fish was repeatedly and savagely attacked by larger fish of many species, resulting in the death of hundreds of the smaller fish. He said it appeared the larger fish were aware that the boat engines restricted the smaller fishes’ ability to communicate and used this as an opportunity for a “feeding frenzy.”

Crankston said that through the efforts of his department and others have convinced state representatives in the Gulf and Atlantic coastal states to submit bills in next year’s legislative sessions to restrict boating activities.

He said their ultimate goal would be to eliminate all recreational boating in coastal waters. He further stated that goal would not be reachable for many years so they are now seeking a ban on weekend and evening recreational boating.

In a public statement issued yesterday, Crankston said “The continued survival of many aquatic species demands that recreational boating be halted. We see the ban on weekend and evening boat use in coastal waters as a first large step toward our ultimate goal—a total ban on recreational boating. We realize this will not be popular to the recreational boating industries, but the lives of untold millions of fish are at stake. I hope boaters will understand and support our efforts.”

Meanwhile, legislation is being prepared in 12 coastal states that will severely restrict recreational boating. Legislators in 9 of those states (Texas, Louisiana, Florida, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Virginia, Delaware and New Jersey) have already signed on to support Crankston ’s work and believe they have the support in their states to see these bills come to law.
 
Umm... NO.
 
How come AP News Miami has no record of this "article"?

Clearly this is somebodies idea of a joke. If I knew how fish communicated, I would have won all the major fishing titles by now.
 
That almost sounds like an article from The Onion?!?!

He watched in horror as a school of thousands of fish was repeatedly and savagely attacked by larger fish of many species, resulting in the death of hundreds of the smaller fish.

What the...? It's called the circle of life!!!

He said it appeared the larger fish were aware that the boat engines restricted the smaller fishes’ ability to communicate and used this as an opportunity for a “feeding frenzy.”


We have bigger problems if fish are at a point where they can become aware of boat engines masking other fish sounds. Forget the zombie
apocalypse, fish will be walking on land and start to eat humans in no time.
 
Yeah right. Texas is onboard... sure they are. Trust me in saying this state doesn't lean left.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Fake news at its best.....

There is a University of West Florida -True
They have a Marine Studies Department -False
Roger Crankston works at UWF -False
 
That almost sounds like an article from The Onion?!?!

He watched in horror as a school of thousands of fish was repeatedly and savagely attacked by larger fish of many species, resulting in the death of hundreds of the smaller fish.

What the...? It's called the circle of life!!!

He said it appeared the larger fish were aware that the boat engines restricted the smaller fishes’ ability to communicate and used this as an opportunity for a “feeding frenzy.”


We have bigger problems if fish are at a point where they can become aware of boat engines masking other fish sounds. Forget the zombie
apocalypse, fish will be walking on land and start to eat humans in no time.

Are you suggesting Onion articles are fake news!?
 
This is the original article:

A Liberal BAN IN THE WORKS?

-(AP)- Miami News has recently surfaced about a six year long research project conducted by the Political Science Department of the University of West Florida, located north of Pensacola, FL. The University today announced the as-yet-unpublished research project that is being heralded throughout the political field as a major breakthrough.

According to Political Science Department Head Roger Crankston, researchers at UWF have been working on translating the sounds that Liberals make when they communicate with each other. Researchers have observed gatherings of liberals and how they seem to move in unison. Large groups of liberals seem to have some undetected language they use to signal each other when a Republican is near. The Liberals use these communication tools to provide such things as turning directions, directions to food sources, the presence of predatory policies, etc.

Researchers have long suspected that Liberals have a low-frequency language of chirps and other whining sounds for the basis of their communication. Researchers used extensive recording equipment to log the sounds these Liberals make, then catalogued the sounds into “Socialistic Languages.”

Crankston , in announcing the study and the results, said that while various groups of Liberals have slightly different sounds, there are many similarities from one group to another. As an example, Liberals that are on the lower end of the food chain all have similar sounds they make when a conservative is near. Due to the rapid rate that sound travels through air, these sounds are quickly spread throughout that group and are quickly picked up by other nearby groups of liberals.

Crankston went on to say that a danger signal from one Liberal group can easily be interpreted by other group. Those danger signals then are “telegraphed” from one area to another using Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. He likened the fast dispersal of a danger signal over wide distances to how quickly a message can travel over the internet.

One area of the study that will raise serious debate is how the results of these studies are being used. Crankston , in 2014, quietly contacted several other Political Science institutes in the SW states with the preliminary results of his studies. The researchers have also been in contact with state legislators in Gulf states as well as states in the Atlantic region as far north as New Jersey.

The researchers have quietly been pressuring legislators of those 12 states to push through legislation to severely jam all Liberal communications. The basis for the legislation would be that the whining sounds they make are loud enough to distort reality.
 
Last edited:
April 1st over that way already ?

oh, wait, liberals whining? yes it's true!
 
Aw you guys are too darn sharp. I posted that as an April Fools Joke but you caught on to it too quickly. Nice job! This wasn't as good as the Hampton Submarine story and it was a bit "out there". Happy April Fool's Day.
 
Ah crap! I knew I should have read all the posts, but after I read the first post, I acted quickly and sold my boat before the market got saturated and the value went down! But no need to feel bad for me because I got an email from a guy in Nigeria who needed some help getting money out of the country, so I sent him the proceeds from the boat sale and I'm going to be getting several millions bucks in the next few days! I'll use that money to buy a really BIG boat. #savvyinvestor
 

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