* not boat related * When to put manners aside and speak up

Presentation said:
Thank you all for the advice.

It’s great to bounce this off you and get your thoughts.

I’ve decided to follow the suggestion of Marie-Antoinette and let them eat cake.

After all, everything worked out for her.
Click to expand...
Actually historians feel that she didn't say Let them eat cake. You got to be carefull how you handle this situation or you could end up like Marie-Anoinette.....head in a basket.
 
I like your rotten fruit/spoiled meat tradition. It is somehow comforting to know what to expect and kind of takes the pressure off the whole gift giving process.

In my family we have a range of economic situations and gift giving at the holidays can be very stressful. We relieved most of the pressure by making a family decision to give modest gifts to the children, but NO GIFTS TO ADULTS. Everyone still gets a birthday present, everyone still gets a mothers/fathers day gift, but we concentrate holiday giving on the kids.
 
I would tell the inlaws the fruit this time, not the previous years was spoiled and to maybe try something different next year. It sounds like its tradition so don't mess with it, not worth the fight.

Next year, pack the lump of butt in a small foam cooler with dry ice and send it standard ground or 3 day and save yourself 65 dollars. Better yet, send them some good ole' Wisconsin cheese. I have a friend in your area who sends me a 10lb round of wisconsin chedder every Xmas. We got it last week and it will be gone by Xmas day. Everybody loves that stuff. SB
 
Pres: How can I get MY inlaws to move to Florida? Thank your lucky stars they aren't living next door!
 
My advice for this year is to let it die.

My advice for next year is to ship the package out sooner and at a cheaper rate. It will be easier to swallow.

Doug
 
Throw the fruit in the garbage and say thank you, it was wonderful. They can throw the meat away and say thank you it was wonderful. There will be peace on earth and good will, which is really what it is about.
 
One of my psychology professors in college produced a video entitled "The Road to Abilene" in which he told a childhood story about how a bunch of his family members ended up driving 2 hours to Abilene, Texas without air conditioning on a 100 degree day, to get ice cream when none of them really wanted to go.

They simply didn't want to offend each other and ended up being miserable as a result.

Her parents don't want to send you rotten fruit and your wife doesn't want to send them something the dog won't eat. Somebody has to suggest a new tradition that both families can align on or a few years from now one part of the family will be really offended that the other part didn't speak up.

Happy holidays,

John
 
Boy this is a real sit down situation. How come nobody ever talks to anyone any more... I second the advice that lets talk about Xmas gifts, food is not a great idea, gift certificats are...they are not rich and would appreciate anything they can use.. We settled this a few years ago, mother in law now enjoys her gift cards, and we stopped dropping her cakes in the garbage.

R.Blatter
310 Sundancer 2001
 
Interesting...my dad sends me a box from Florida each year (must be a custom there) and the stuff lasts for, at least, 3-4 weeks. We keep it in the garage where it's cool this time of year (40's at least) instead of the house.
 
For my 10 cents (my left over "change") these two answers below represent the best posted so far and also shows part of just what is wrong in our society today. NO ONE TALKS TO ANYONE ANYMORE. Everything is predicated on being Politically Correct, PC two words I despise hearing.

Bring back "Tact" and open communication, get a way from all of this people pleasing nonsense when it is not warrantied.

All of the other hubris mentioned here is just that hubris. If a couple can only get into a pissing contest over discussing this trivial matter as adults with her parents or even your parents, then there is more wrong with the relationship then either party is willing to admit.

Who said, (paraphrasing here) "Vanity, thy name name is woman?" :huh:

Anyway have a happy holiday season :thumbsup:


rblatter said:
Boy this is a real sit down situation. How come nobody ever talks to anyone any more... I second the advice that lets talk about Xmas gifts, food is not a great idea, gift certificats are...they are not rich and would appreciate anything they can use.. We settled this a few years ago, mother in law now enjoys her gift cards, and we stopped dropping her cakes in the garbage.

R.Blatter
310 Sundancer 2001
Click to expand...

PlayDate said:
One of my psychology professors in college produced a video entitled "The Road to Abilene" in which he told a childhood story about how a bunch of his family members ended up driving 2 hours to Abilene, Texas without air conditioning on a 100 degree day, to get ice cream when none of them really wanted to go.

They simply didn't want to offend each other and ended up being miserable as a result.

Her parents don't want to send you rotten fruit and your wife doesn't want to send them something the dog won't eat. Somebody has to suggest a new tradition that both families can align on or a few years from now one part of the family will be really offended that the other part didn't speak up.

Happy holidays,

John
Click to expand...
 
Doug,
I have to say you do come up with some beauties. Look at it this way. You can fly out of Chicago (Midway) to Florida for 120.00 round trip on southwest air lines. Take your wife with you,she can see her family, and buy your own fruit.
Remember, HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE and it's CHEEPER TO KEEP HER
 
Here's my advice.....sit down with your family and watch 24 hrs. of Christmas Story.
No matter how many times you've seen it, it will wipe away your troubles....until next year!
 
Interesting scenario, in some government training classes I've had this has been referred to as the "Road To Abilene". Actually there is a principle called The road to Abilene, in which we, as members of a group, find ourselves collectively doing something which no one really wants to do. Of course on one notices or bothers to say anything until it's usually too late.

Tell her you saw a video about this topic and make the inference to the two topics as a "Parallel" see if she makes the connection.

BTW... Good luck with this!
 
Doug Are you still in the DOG HOUSE????? Or4r have you changed you'r mind and said I'm wrong. Honey I'm sorry. Nicky
 
Based on your post....

The parents are paying for crap (literally) thay can't afford.

The seller is selling crap that shouldn't be sold.

The consumer (you) keeps getting crap you don't want.


If this was the auto industry, the fruit grower would be looking for a bailout about now.

My 2 cents.....

Call the grower and explain the situation. The grower has 30 days to get it right or you are calling the parents in law. Your wife will be pissed, the parents in law will thank you for bringing it to their attention (they need only know about this year's shipment) and saving them money. Your wife will love you because the parents in law are happy. The fruit seller will get on board or go out of business. You'll get laid and the foundations of capitalism will have been preserved for yet another day.
 
I agree with Jim's "If sending a butt roast fried pancake via fedex made my wife happy I'd buy her a dedicated frying pan, a freezer full of meat, and a daily fedex pickup." You will not win this one so get your dog out of this potential fight!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Forum statistics

Threads
113,118
Messages
1,426,467
Members
61,034
Latest member
Lukerney
Back
Top