Joke Thread.. post 'em if you got 'em

A man applied for a job at the US Postal Service. The interview was going well and the interviewer asked him if he was allergic to anything and the man replied "I'm actually allergic to caffeine so I do not drink coffee or caffeinated drinks". The interviewer said that he thought that was interesting and then interviewer asks "Are you a veteran by chance"? The man replied "I am. I served in Afghanistan one tour of duty". So the interviewer said "Well you get bonus points for hiring for being a veteran. Thank you for your service." The interviewer then asked "Do you have any disabilities"? The man replied "Actually when I was in Afghanistan an IED went off and blew off both my testicles". "Ohh" the interviewer replied. "I am sorry to hear that. You get bonus hiring points for that also. You are over the limit in hiring points. You have got this job! You can start tomorrow. We work from 8:00am to 4:00pm but come in around 10:00am."

The man says "Great, that's good news. But I am curious. If the hours are from 8:00am - 4:00pm why don't you want me here until 10:00am?

The interviewer replied "Sir, this is a government job. The first two hours all we do is stand around scratching our balls and drinking coffee so there is no need for you to be here for that!"!
Driving home the other day I was pulled over by a policeman for running a stop sign a block from my house. The officer approached my car and asked me do you realize you ran that stop sign back there. Officer sorry I didn't stop because my wife wasn't in the car to tell me about the stop sign, that is only a block from my home of 20 years. The officer stood there for a minute and then looked at me and said I understand you can go.

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