Dumbest S!** I ever heard

Escapade said:
I thought some of these would fit in with this thread!
IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS



IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind
the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City



IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.



IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing, ' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the- headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

;
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.



How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.


It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.





STAY ALERT!

They walk among us .... and they VOTE
Click to expand...

OMG! :wow:
 
"It takes a village"
"Rich people don't pay enough taxes"
"The gubment knows how to spend our money better than we do"
 
53. A great way to clean outdrives is to beach the boat on a sandbar and then let the tide go out so the boat is high-and-dry.
 
Four Suns said:
51. Use truck bed liner paint on the bottom of your hull
52. You should put a hydraulic platform on your 32' boat
Click to expand...

Maybe another one for your list:

If you keep zooming on the little boat on the chartplotter, are we gonna see ourselves on the little boat ?
 
Four Suns said:
53. A great way to clean outdrives is to beach the boat on a sandbar and then let the tide go out so the boat is high-and-dry.
Click to expand...


This needs some furhter clarification.....First, when you are still floating, you need to raft up to 8 or 9 other boats. That way, as the tide is going out, you can all 'bang' hulls a bit on the way down. It also helps to insure that you are all 'leaning' in the same orientation when the tide has fully ebbed....makes for better pics too...

Ron...help me here....is this like the Brook-A-Leen Ku-Jeen Lean?
 
I would have guessed "Leaminusa", "Leahyphena", or "Leamyparentswerebloodyflippinidiotsa"
 
A man at work was heard trying to find a door for a Ford pickup truck from a wrecking yard. His fellow workers reminded him he had a Chevrolet. He said the door was for his neighbor's truck. Our guy had started to pull out of his driveway with the trailer jack on his boat trailer still down, and when he heard the scraping, he got out to see what the problem was. He quickly raised the jack, but forgot that the truck was still in gear (auto trans), aimed at his neighbor's truck.
 
Sweet, young lady, and was probably just talking before thinking, but, we were sitting on the curb outside billeting at Andersen AFB, Guam when my friend's wife, looking up at the stars says, "Now, the stars are still there in the daytime, right? You just can't see them?"
 
55. Plastic drywall screw anchors are a good repair for stripped screws in fiberglass
 
Yellowstone Park. Some city slicker with an accent from back east somewhere asking the Park Ranger a question, "Where do you keep the animals at night?"
 
One of the guys I work with was on a bus in Bangor Maine, he asked the drive for a receipt and the driver said “What’s wrong with the seat you got”….
 
57. Putting a running snowblower on the roof of a rickety shed that is on the verge of collapse with 120v of electricity running around the edge in the middle of a blizzard with 50mph winds
 
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