Dear Santa.....

[dwna1a]

Dear Santa, theres no need to check your list twice. See, I've been bad. I didn't give my second love all the loving she needs, I think it was due to the bottles of Buffalo Trace she keeps cold for me, I don't know. Anyway I should be punished by forcing me to spend more time, maybe a month or two, caressing her fiberglass and keeping her engines purring. Maybe a trip down the ICW to warmer water....anyway don't bring coal, I don't have the storage space. Bring gas, about 560gal will do. Thank you very much, wait one other thing, never mind that would make me bad again next year....something about the Sealift ad. Happy Holidays Everyone:grin:

 

[MonacoMike]

Christmas???

Who can think of Christmas when the world ends 4 days earlier?




Just kidding. Hope I don't get coal...

MM

 

[sbw1]

I Apparently I have a limit to how many model airplanes I can buy...MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

Maybe you could put floats on a suitable model and fly it up to our house. We could switch it over to skis and fly it all winter. I'll provide you with tie downs and an engine heater so we could go flying all winter. Reverse the process when the ice goes out.

 

[dwna1a]

I've got a Dixie Clipper here that needs a new home

 

[Xplicitlnck]

Ive been good you think santa can fit a 330 or so in his sleigh and leave it resting nicely on my front lawn? Not to much to ask for

 

[rcon]

The patience to learn how to repair the coring in my deck please, Santa.

If your feeling particularly generous however, a matching 4.3l TKS as I'll never be repowering with a pair of v8s now


Merry Xmas all.

 

[Gofirstclass]

Dear Santa, I think I've been very, very bad this year, but my Galley Wench has said many times that I've been very, very good, so I'm confused. I really don't want anything for myself this Christmas. Oh, except maybe for diesel prices to keep dropping. And maybe a new Hi Def radar system for my mistress. And if you happen to have a surveillance camera system lying around, that would be nice too. But none of that is for me, it's for my mistress.

Oh, and GW is just about out of dish soap and laundry detergent so if you could bring her some she'd be happy.

Thanks Santa.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

 

[moparlvr4406]

I have been a good boy and have proof...
my dogs haven't bitten me....
my wife hasn't killed or divorced me.....
even the cats sit on my lap from time to time and purr.

Think Twin Diesels Santa :wink:


Merry Christmas to all !!!

 

[1956olds]

Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the
reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would
like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas.
I hope
you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy
Jones

Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer
and the elves are all
fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a
little worried all the
time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa
wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think
I'll bring you
something you can go outside and play with.
Merry
Christmas,
Santa Claus

Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the
"naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you
can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly
wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you
think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a
year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones

Mr. Jones,
While I
have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need
I remind you that
your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a
guarantee of services
provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action,
well that is your right.
Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the
Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be
more than happy to take you
on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I eluded to will not only improve
your health, but also improve you social
skills and potentially help clear up
a complexion that looks like the
bottom of the Burger King fry bin most
days.
Very Truly Yours,

S Claus
Now look here Fat Man,
I told
you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite
about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be
disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your
fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I
want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone

Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously???
You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and
never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're
sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what
kind of resources I have at my disposal.I got your sh*t wired, Jack. I go all
around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now,
you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's
basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your
crib to stomp a mud hole in your a** and then walk it dry. Chew on that,
Petunia.
S Clizzy

Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll
appreciate anything.
Timmy

Timmy,
That's what I thought, you little
snot.
Santa

 

[Xplicitlnck]

1965. I think timmy b.tch.d out there. That was good