Family tragedy

Scott, I lost my sister Rachel to suicide in 2001. It hurts to this day. The pain fades and I have tried to focus on all of the positive things she brought to my life and to our family. I feel empathy and sorrow for those left behind, especially the children. As a family you can find comfort in one another. There will be a time to be angry with those complicit in her action but for now take time to remember all the good she brought to the earth. My deepest condolences are with you.
 
sfergson727 said:
Thank you everyone. On Tuesday afternoon, my sister put a gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger. My Dad was the first to find her about four hours after she did it. I was away on a trip at the time, fortunately my employer cut me loose from the rest of it after flying back to Louisville (they would have airlined me home from Fresno, but the quickest way to get back to my car was to operate the trip.) After driving to my Dad's house, I spent the rest of the day helping him with the arrangements. (Learned way more than I ever wanted to know about the clean up after something like that)

Anyway, I finally got home yesterday and got some sleep after being awake for 36 hours. Now it is just a matter of getting through the memorial service this weekend and spending healing time with family. This is going to take a long time to get over, especially for my father, whose last image of his daughter...well, you can use your imagination. (I accidentally walked into the room where she did it, what I saw will haunt me for the rest of my life, I can't imagine what he is dealing with)

Anyway, my sister Erin was 44, recently divorced and had 4 children. Two of the kids are grown and out of the house, the other two are about the same age as my two kids (10 and 14). I am most worried about them, hopefully as a family we can provide them with comfort and love which they will no longer get from their mother.

She had been dealing with depression since her teens, and frustratingly the medical system failed her. Every time she sought treatment, they would throw pills at her and turn her loose. Recently she went to a crisis center on four separate occasions and was turned out the door each time, since they only took 4 patients per day. I find I have a lot of anger directed at the medical system and specifically Don's Guns in Indy, who sold her a handgun on the 26th of November. At the time, she was distraught and barely able to function, yet somehow, they sold her a gun....

Anyway, thanks for the prayers and well wishes, I appreciate it. Please feel free to post experiences with depression and suicide, maybe we all can learn something from this tragedy.

God Bless,
Scott
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Scott,
I am in Louisville and if there is anything you ever need from this part of the world, please let me know - prayers my friend to your family and you!!
chris
 
Scott, I'm so sorry for your loss. I dealt with this same thing earlier this year. On June 2nd, my 21 year old nephew took his life the same way as your sister. It's horrific and the scars really don't heal when a life ends this way.

Nick was very close to us and lived with us for a few summers watching our boys over summer vacation. He suffered from depression too and his experience with the clinical side was much like you described. He was in therapy and they recently switched his meds when it happened. My sister found her only son they way your father found his daughter. No note, no real explanation.

My sister, brother in law, and niece are still dealing with it like it happened yesterday. I'm on a business trip right now and I talked to my sister for an hour while driving to meet a client the other day. Everyone wants to help but there's nothing you can do...she just wants to go back in time. To hug her son one more time. Ugh...it's heart breaking.

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. If anyone here is dealing with depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, etc. --- talk to someone. Anyone. People will listen.

We're all here for you, Scott.
 
Scott,

I am very sad to hear of this. I have had many sleepless nights worrying about my younger sister. She has had to deal with depression and bullying in school. She tried to take her life by taking pills and even had it up on YouTube for her bullies to see that she was giving up. It took me over three weeks to get the video down. There are many problems with our beloved country and dealing with depression seems to be one of them. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that the children can find peace in their lives as I can't imagine the pain they are experiencing. I wish your family the best...
 
I lack the words to convey how deeply we feel for you and your family, including your father whom I was privileged to meet just this summer. God's love to you and your family and an extra helping to the children that lost their mother!

MM & Admiral
 
Scott, talked with you just before you left for Fresno. Hard to believe how fast things can unexpectedly change in our lives. You've got a lot of friends here and in your extended community, so feel free to reach out if you need anything. Words cannot express our deepest sympathies for you and your family.
 
Thank you everyone for sharing your prayers, thoughts and experiences. In times like these it definitely helps to know you are not alone and I am most appreciative of all of you. We had the services for my sister yesterday, and now are trying to pick up the pieces with the kids.

Thanks again,
Scott

https://flannerbuchanan.com/obit/erin-kirsten-ferguson/
 
Tonka Boater said:
Scott, I'm so sorry for your loss. I dealt with this same thing earlier this year. On June 2nd, my 21 year old nephew took his life the same way as your sister. It's horrific and the scars really don't heal when a life ends this way.

Nick was very close to us and lived with us for a few summers watching our boys over summer vacation. He suffered from depression too and his experience with the clinical side was much like you described. He was in therapy and they recently switched his meds when it happened. My sister found her only son they way your father found his daughter. No note, no real explanation.

My sister, brother in law, and niece are still dealing with it like it happened yesterday. I'm on a business trip right now and I talked to my sister for an hour while driving to meet a client the other day. Everyone wants to help but there's nothing you can do...she just wants to go back in time. To hug her son one more time. Ugh...it's heart breaking.

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. If anyone here is dealing with depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, etc. --- talk to someone. Anyone. People will listen.

We're all here for you, Scott.
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That is heartbreaking. I am very sorry to hear about your nephew.
 
blaster said:
Scott, I lost my sister Rachel to suicide in 2001. It hurts to this day. The pain fades and I have tried to focus on all of the positive things she brought to my life and to our family. I feel empathy and sorrow for those left behind, especially the children. As a family you can find comfort in one another. There will be a time to be angry with those complicit in her action but for now take time to remember all the good she brought to the earth. My deepest condolences are with you.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry to hear this as well. Seems that many of us have been touched by tragedy brought on from mental illness/depression. I hope sometime, our medical community finds a better way to treat those afflicted with it. I know in my sister's case, she was turned away four times from a crisis center because they only took 4 people per day.
 
Scott,

I'm so sorry to hear that happened. My heart goes out to you and your family.

These things are toughest on the children. If you know of a licensed psychologist who specializes in helping families deal with grief it can make a huge difference not only now but how they process it in the future.

John
 
Scott, I am so sorry to hear of your terrible loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I lost my brother to suicide, and he was turned away from treatment, so I have a sense for what you all are going through. My two nephews (his sons) and I have become very close and we talk about it often, which has been a help. Sending you best wishes for overcoming this tragedy as we get ready to start a new year.
 
Scott,
I just logged on after being away for a while and saw the news. I wish I had the ability to provide the words that could ease this terrible thing, I don't, and I'm so very sorry. I do know were I to be faced with the loss of my baby sister I would be devastated. If there is anything you need don't hesitate to reach out.

Henry
 
Scott,

I'm so sorry. Had to wipe the tears from my eyes to finish reading your post.

Depression is an awful, awful affliction. Too many fight so valiantly, but still lose. Any way that death takes a loved one is absolutely terrible, and I think that suicide may be the worst.

My prayers for you, your family, and your sister.

Remember to try to eat food, drink water, and get any few minutes of rest when you can.

God bless you and your family.
 
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