Unsure How to Handle This....

We are enjoying both worlds... We have our Sea Ray 450 and a Monaco Monarch SE w/ 2 slides & 1 & 1/2 bathrooms...
They are pluses and minuses but overall we feel very blessed to be able to enjoy this life.
 
Like some others, we do both RV travel and boating. Personally, I prefer boating over the RV. I find the RVing takes some more planning and the touring isn't nearly as relaxing but we don't use the RV to sit under a palm tree for months at a time. It has been our "see the USA" vehicle. We've visited something like 15 national parks and countless other scenic areas in in the past couple years. That travel was a nice change of pace but as I said, for me, boating is the preferred activity. In the end, it's all just personal preference.
 
So many of my boating family are leaving the activity because their spouses have lost interest. Generally speaking there's a component of boating that appeals far more to men than women. My wife has been boating with me for 30 years and has definitely lost a lot of interest over that time. It's especially true for us lake boaters who can only do so much before it gets very repetitive. If I told her I was selling the boat today she wouldn't mind a bit.

We recently had our first granddaughter and another one on the way. I'm VERY sure her participation is going to plummet even more, which is a huge bummer because I really enjoy her company. But I can't blame her. She only has so much time on this earth and deserves to pursue her happiness as well. Doesn't mean I like it but I have to say I've found being around that little kid way more fun than I ever expected. This also means that my dream of living in a condo on the ocean and a diesel express cruiser parked out back is pretty well dead.

So now my choices are to move the boat closer to the house and make it my hangout where I can go spend the day there and not the whole weekend, or do what I've been doing and cultivating other interests that

We'll be retiring in a few years and our plans are to buy an RV and see the country for a few years and see whether we like it or not. I think the key there is to buy a lightly used motor-home and be in a position to sell it without losing a fortune if it doesn't appeal to us. At least we'll have it out of our system by then.
 
My father has been boating for 60 years and is finally throwing in the towel after spending the last 20 years building his dream boat, a 62' transatlantic capable steel trawler. My parents were able to spend a few winters in the Bahamas and Florida on it but some health issues have halted their long range cruising plans. That coupled with the constant upkeep that our boats require has become too much stress for something that's supposed to be relaxing.

They have also decided to give RV'ing a try and have an LTV on order with delivery scheduled for later this year. Both my parents have new found excitement and are really looking forward to hitting the road to see the sites and visit old friends. They even bought up a Jeep wrangler yesterday to tow behind the RV.

Like you, my dream is to live on the water with a cruiser at the dock. At this point in my life RV'ing doesn't interest me very much but who knows in 15-20 years. With kids in school and our jobs we really couldn't take the time off required to do it now, which is why weekend boating is perfect for us for the near future.

I'd suggest renting an RV for a short trip to see if either of you enjoy it.

BTW - if anyone is looking for an amazing 62' steel trawler, let me know!
 
We recently had our first granddaughter and another one on the way.

This is my 5 year old grandson and 2 year old grand daughter - They LOVE the boat - she is usually the first one to jump in. That little pink life vest was used on all three of my daughters and my grandson before her! Susan loves being on the boat with the kids and grandkids!!

Well - I can't upload the iPhone video because its a .MOV extension. I'm sure somebody here knows how to do it...

edit - converted to MP4 and still can't do it...
 
Last edited:
Thanks for the replies guys. There are so many variables at play here in my situation. I guess the major one is age....or better said, age difference. My wife is 10 years younger than me. I'll be 70 this year and she, 60. I'm semi-retired and work less than one week a month. My wife is still fully employed and makes a good living. However, she would like to retire and thinks 2022 would be a good time but, health insurance is a big issue and she is a Type-1 diabetic and needs really good health insurance.

If we wait for her to retire at 65 I will then be 75. I'm in pretty good shape and health but I see areas where I am slowing down and It makes me wonder if I would be physically capable of handling and maintaining a 35'-40' boat. I have been looking at used 5th wheel trailers. As I said earlier I have an F-250 diesel truck that will easily tow anything I am looking at. For what we are looking to spend on a used trailer we could buy a nice used express in the mid 30 foot range. A trailer I could keep here at the house but a boat will need a slip and that means additional funds. Also, a trailer has no engines and transmissions that need maintenance.

Nothing gives me peace like being on the water. Sitting on the shore has never been my style so taking an RV to a shore someplace may not do it for me. I guess this is just part of the aging process but I don't have to like it. I did tell my wife this past weekend that if she really wants to retire we could sell the house, buy a boat and live on it and cruise a few years. She sadly declined as she doesn't want to leave her Mom.

I really appreciate the input. It really helps and I know this will get figured out. I may just have to face reality....I hate when that happens.
Shawn
 
She sadly declined as she doesn't want to leave her Mom.

Shawn,

After reading your words.....I believe this is at the heart of the matter. Your wife's recent suggestions, changes in directions and reluctance to drive 50 miles, reluctance to cruise or rv with you may stem from a higher sense of obligation to her mom. I could be wrong but what you describe I have seen before. If this is the catalyst, discretionary activities that don't include her mom no longer have the priority they once had. I'm guessing that her Mom is in her late 80s which can be a heart wrenching time for a son or a daughter. I went through it with my mom and dad and you just put your dreams on hold for a while.

There are ways to mitigate it but that comes down to the relationship that you have with her mother. At 70 you should be enjoying your life and making sure you get to your dreams as well.

God bless both of you.
 
Shawn,

After reading your words.....I believe this is at the heart of the matter. Your wife's recent suggestions, changes in directions and reluctance to drive 50 miles, reluctance to cruise or rv with you may stem from a higher sense of obligation to her mom. I could be wrong but what you describe I have seen before. If this is the catalyst, discretionary activities that don't include her mom no longer have the priority they once had. I'm guessing that her Mom is in her late 80s which can be a heart wrenching time for a son or a daughter. I went through it with my mom and dad and you just put your dreams on hold for a while.

There are ways to mitigate it but that comes down to the relationship that you have with her mother. At 70 you should be enjoying your life and making sure you get to your dreams as well.

God bless both of you.
Thanks John. My wife spent 28 years living in Cal away from her Mom with annual visits. They are both making up for lost time. Her Mom (84) is in good health and lives 5 minutes away and see each other often.

I'm happy for them. It was my idea to move here but, my ulterior motive was an affordable house on the water with a cruiser of some sort in the back yard. Now none of that is happening. Guess I need to live with it or develop some sort of compromise. Just need to figure that out.
Shawn
 
You know, don't take this the wrong way, but she seems to be a bit selfish when it comes to your feelings and what you want. Everything you have said, had you sacrificing, not any on the other side.
 
This is my 5 year old grandson and 2 year old grand daughter - They LOVE the boat - she is usually the first one to jump in. That little pink life vest was used on all three of my daughters and my grandson before her! Susan loves being on the boat with the kids and grandkids!!

Well - I can't upload the iPhone video because its a .MOV extension. I'm sure somebody here knows how to do it...

edit - converted to MP4 and still can't do it...
Put it on YouTube and paste the link
 
Answer: Buy my 5th wheel. 2014 Sandpiper. 45' long. We haven't used it in 2 years.
Now that's a great idea however.... That is too big for my truck. So then I would need an F-350 dooly. Probably not the best ide for me. I could buy a nice boat for the price of an F-350....used.
 
Now that's a great idea however.... That is too big for my truck. So then I would need an F-350 dooly. Probably not the best ide for me. I could buy a nice boat for the price of an F-350....used.
Hey Shawn, I know where there is going to be a well loved 89 340 for sale in about 6 months to a year :D
 
I feel like I should just stay out of this....It's far too personal to offer any real suggestions, but I have a few questions.

Have you had a heart felt discussion with your wife about the importance of this to you? A lot of guys just presume they understand, but don't articulate it fully....Esp. if you tell he it would be a temp plan for just a few years. Then sell it and think about the RV'ing.

I had the same thought as @PlayDate re the mother-in-law suite, etc...That's the direction I would pursue... I actually stopped by an estate sale today by mistake. I thought the home was for sale, but it was already sold. It was clearly a situation where the last parent had passed and the children were left dealing with the house and stuff....If she deals with this now and you do the in-law suite, you will be ahead of the game...

Good luck in any event...I will say I know the RV craze is going strong. I remember as soon as fuel prices started going up, it also halted the industry...
 
Man I’m lucky! We’ve discussed an RV for the winter and travel the country (still not out of the question) but after 3 months in Florida with the boat the wife is “Happy” again! Lucky me!!! Her mom won’t even fly to FLA so we’re good!!!
i have to admit we’d love to really see this country by road I’m just not good sitting for hours on end.
 
Thanks again all.... Boat Guy, we did have a talk. She admitted that she has not felt comfortable boating here in SE Louisiana. She grew up here (not boating tho) and heard many bad things about boating on Lake Pontchatrain.

Here is where we currently stand....
  • We are not going to move.
  • We are going to either keep the present boat or I will sell it this year and look for something a bit larger and one that will increase her comfort level. She has boated in the open ocean with me in the past in Southern Cal so it's not like she doesn't know what she is doing. She has been a very capable skipper on our 34' and 52' but has admitted she does like more boat around her.
  • If we do the RV thing I really want to be able to take of for several months at a time. We cannot do that until she retires in 2-3 years.
  • We are going to try renting an RV a couple of times this year.
  • We are going to do one in a trailer and one in a motorhome.
  • Having another cruising-type boat may not be in the cards for a number of reasons....mostly financial, some physical.
  • This all could change but it is all out in the open and being discussed.
  • Life goes on.... Thanks again.
Shawn
 
Bravo ! ! ! Sounds like a well laid out plan. Especially the 2 rental options to see which RV style you like before purchasing. Best of luck to you and the wife in your travels.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
112,946
Messages
1,422,783
Members
60,930
Latest member
Ebrown69
Back
Top