Guilty or not?

Woody, I didn't misunderstand your posts. That you believe I call my wife "Galley Wench" as a way to demean her shows that you know absolutely nothing about me or "us" as a couple. But then, that's understandable because you have never met us.

Were it possible for you to somehow take a poll of the female members of our club you would be surprised at home many would agree that not only do my wife and I love each other very much but we are viewed by the members of the club as a very happy, loving couple.
Yep, you definitely don't understand my post. Go back, read it over again, the important part is the first three words....By todays standards.
 
Sorry to chime in, but I believe Woody was being funny, or trying to be, throughout his response. I thought it was very well written and funny as hell. But I also thought you guys went back and forth often, based on what Woody wrote. Or maybe there is no issue here and you guys are just continuing your banter, so I will bow out now.
 
You complimented a much younger woman about her hair, in front of your wife, and your wife's mother.

It wasn't just the compliment, it was what you complimented. Hair is something older women worry about a lot. Most of them are losing theirs, so to hear your husband compliment a much younger woman about her hair was tough.

Your wife was embarrassed not only for you, but for herself, since her mother was witness to the compliment.

The waitress was just being kind and preserving her tip for the evening.
 
If she didn't want her hair complimented, she should have shaved it off.
 
Seriously speaking. In today's world, any compliment to a female non-family member could potentially be viewed as harassment. At best, if there is an age differential, you WILL be that creepy old guy. If it is at work, it might very well be considered much worse.

I would hate to be a young guy today. So many marriages and relationships in the past starting at work with a compliment that subtly indicated a potential interest. But I guess this explains the popularity of on-line dating sites. The intention is clearer on line, and it takes that uncertainty out of the equation.
 
Seriously speaking. In today's world, any compliment to a female non-family member could potentially be viewed as harassment. At best, if there is an age differential, you WILL be that creepy old guy. If it is at work, it might very well be considered much worse.

I would hate to be a young guy today. So many marriages and relationships in the past starting at work with a compliment that subtly indicated a potential interest. But I guess this explains the popularity of on-line dating sites. The intention is clearer on line, and it takes that uncertainty out of the equation.

Excellent point. I met my wife at work back in the day. Had the environment been the same, we likely would have never gotten together.
 
But I guess this explains the popularity of on-line dating sites. The intention is clearer on line, and it takes that uncertainty out of the equation.
Funny you would mention that. Tina and I met on Match.com about 14 years ago. One thing led to another and as Paul Harvey used to say, "Now you know the rest of the story."
 
Never, ever say to a lady “You look nice today.” You are opening yourself up to a possible HR violation. I have always found it much safer to go with “You look unrepugnant today”
 
Prosideus, many of the women I know would take about 10 minutes to figure out if that was a compliment or an insult.
 
Who Me?
306_alfred_e_neuman.jpg
 
It is a different world. I have no idea what to say any more. A comment can be viewed as a great insult or it can be build as joke.
 
I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm probably a few year younger than you and in no way would that be perceived negatively in our house. It's human nature to find the opposite sex attractive or to notice something like hair that makes you pay someone a nice compliment. Men and women can't control that. It doesn't mean you want to bed them because you made a compliment for crying out loud. My wife and I will people watch wherever we go... I'll see her checking out some good looking guy or make a comment to her girlfriends. It doesn't bother me one bit nor does it bother her. If it did, I would say that there is some insecurity there that needs to be dealt with.
 
In this day of jumping to conclusions the biggest problem is the accuser gets the pity vote and the accused is an animal.So lets say this waitress was tried of people commenting on her hair back in the days of common sense she would have just put her hair up but today I have a right to be me and everyone else must accommodate me world this kind of BS keeps happening.
 
How sad is it that we've reached a place where a simple compliment would raise questions as to guilt or innocence? No need to worry about the coming robot apocalypse. We have met the robot and it is us.
 
Like everything else today, there are going to be 2 sides. I employ 30 women, have 3 daughters, and coach 23 high school girls. They all can take a compliment with grace. You did nothing wrong. I try to compliment them in some way (not necessarily physical appearance) every day. Some of them would be more upset if I didn't notice a new hair style etc. Being nice to someone isn't flirting.
 
My wife’s company just sent out a revised “Harassment Prevention Polcy” dated 10/4/18.

Wonder if it has anything to do with recent news stories........

It’s about 4 pages long with lots of legalese.
But here is an excerpt:

“Depending upon the circumstances, the conduct can also include.........., blah blah blah, commenting about an employee’s physical appearance, .....blah blah blah”

It goes on to say that it is not easy to define precisely what constitutes sexual harassment, but outlines the commonly thought of specific stuff

Basically, after reading the four pages, almost anything could be construed as sexual harassment.

It think it all comes down to how the person you compliment perceives the comment, not your intention.

I’m lucky enough to be retired now so none of this crap matters to me anymore, but I really pity my son, or any other young guy who has to make a living in a co-ed environment.

Sad, but these days you can never be too careful.
 
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